Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular (1972)
Michael Palin: Voice Over #1, Brian Norris, 'It's' Man, Headmaster, Mrs. Nigger-Baiter, Maurice, Mark Edwards, Third Knight, Mrs. Kelly, Various
Photos
Quotes
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Headmaster : Right, it's come to my notice that certain boys have been running a unit-trust linked assurance scheme with fringe benefits and full cash-in endowment facilities. Apparently a number of small investors were attracted by the wide-ranging portfolio and that in the first week the limited offer was oversubscribed eight times.
Stebbins : It was Tidwell's idea, sir.
Headmaster : Shut up, Stebbins, I haven't finished! Oh, and congratulations on winning the Italian Grand Prix at Monza.
Stebbins : Thank you, sir.
Headmaster : Shut up. Now then, this sort of extra-curricular capitalist expansion has got to stop! I made it quite clear when Potter tried to go public last term, that these massive stock-exchange deals, must not happen in big school. Is that clear, Balderston?
Balderston : Yes, sir.
Headmaster : Oh and Balderston, next time you do a Panorama report on the black ghettos you must get an exeat form from Mr. Dibley.
Balderston : Sorry, sir.
Headmaster : Shut up. And stop slouching. Now, the reason I called you in here is because my wife is having some trouble with her... her waterworks. Now which one of you is the surgeon? Come on, I know one of you is, which one is it?
[Tidwell raises his hand]
Headmaster : Ah Tidwell, good, well I want you to come along and have a look at the wife.
Tidwell : Oh sir, why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynecologist.
Stebbins : Oh you rotten stinker, Tidwell!
Headmaster : Is this true, Stebbins? Are you a gynecologist?
Stebbins : Yes, sir.
Headmaster : Right, just the man, how much do you charge?
Stebbins : Thirty guineas, sir.
Headmaster : Excellent! Right. I want you to go along, see the wife. Give her a full examination. Let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!