Moonlighting (TV Series)
The Bride of Tupperman (1986)
Cybill Shepherd: Maddie Hayes
Quotes
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David Addison Jr. : I just had a thought.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : We'd better get you a doctor.
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David Addison Jr. : [arguing with Maddie] You kill me.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : Oh, if only I could.
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Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : I'll see you Monday. I'm leaving.
David Addison Jr. : Leaving? Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, what are you doing, doing, doing?
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Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : So what if I said I want to get home early?
David Addison Jr. : Big plans?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : No, I wouldn't say big plans. Actually I wouldn't even say plans.
David Addison Jr. : No plans on a Friday night? The day people get paid, the night people get what rhymes with "paid"? The first day of the rest of your weekend?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : It happens.
David Addison Jr. : Really? To you? Is Ripley aware of this?
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Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : Well, how about music then?
David Addison Jr. : Now you're cooking. I know this great night spot on the West side, the perfect place to make you forget.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : Forget what?
David Addison Jr. : See? It's already working.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : By "night spot" you mean soft lights, quiet, a little piano?
David Addison Jr. : Very little piano, in fact not at all.
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Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : It's a bad idea, we're not going to agree on anything tonight, anymore than we agree on anything ever.
David Addison Jr. : I disagree.
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Agnes DiPesto : I was just coming in.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : I was just going out.
Agnes DiPesto : Whoa. What do you think the chances of that ever happening again are?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : You came in here to tell us something?
Agnes DiPesto : Did you just guess that?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : What is it?
Agnes DiPesto : I don't know but a cousin of mine had it too. Answered her front door before anyone rang the bell.
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Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : She's only a woman.
David Addison Jr. : Only a woman? Were the '27 Yankees only a baseball team? Are the Himalayas only a bunch of hills? Are 36 inches only a yard?
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David Addison Jr. : It was a great idea - inventing a wife for yourself. Who's not going to believe that? I mean why would somebody lie about something like that? So... a couple of years ago, you went out, bought some clothes sent them to the cleaners once a week, opened her a bunch of charge accounts, not to mention the old joint checking. But most important, you took out a life insurance policy.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : When did you figure this out?
David Addison Jr. : During the commercial.
Alan Tupperman : That's absurd!
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[last lines]
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes : Get me off this man!
David Addison Jr. : What are you so upset about? He's not even married yet.