- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: Just fancy that. You mean to say that Johann is rendevouzing at Happy Valley lodge with your wife?
- Herman Munster: That's right. And I don't think it's what you English guys call 'cricket'.
- Herman Munster: Grandpa, what's the matter with you?
- [Grandpa stops waving his flaming torch at Herman]
- Herman Munster: That's no way for a self respecting Republican to act!
- Herman Munster: [on the phone] Hello. What? Germany calling? Yes, this Herman Munster. Who? Dr. Frankenstein?
- Grandpa: Dr. Frankenstein? He's been dead since 1832. But take the call anyway.
- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: [calling on the phone] Mr Munster, this is Doctor Victor Frankenstein the fourth. I believe you were acquainted with my great grandpapa, the original Dr. Frankenstein?
- Herman Munster: [on the other line] Acquainted? He made me what I am today.
- Lily Munster: Eddie! You take those curlers off your ears this minute!
- Eddie Munster: Nobody is gonna notice me with just plain pointed ears. Can't I curl them just a little?
- Lily Munster: No you can't.
- Herman Munster: Eddie, your mother is right. We don't want any child of ours going to school and being stared at.
- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: [to Johann] Stop that pounding! If you don't behave, I shall take your brain out and put it in backwards.
- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: Before my grandfather perfected you, if you'll pardon the expression, he had one or two near misses.
- Herman Munster: Oh?
- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: Yes. Johann is one of the rejects. He was discovered, oh, about six months ago living in the woods on the old ancestral Frankenstein estate in Germany. He had managed to survived since 1815. Well, he was terribly uncivilized. Running about the countryside, frightening young maidens and terrifying the populace.
- Herman Munster: Well, I did a little of that myself before I got married.
- Herman Munster: That rotten old Johann running off with my wife! And on top of everything else, he took my new fishing pole with him!
- TV Anouncer: [on television] And that concludes another episode of 'Life can be Wonderful'.
- Grandpa: Eh! Two divorces, a broken home, a bus accident and three suicides. Nothing interesting ever happens on that show any more!
- Herman Munster: [Lily has locked herself in a closet] Lily, you come out of there!
- Grandpa: Lily, please, open up!
- Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV: Do come out, madam, this is Johann's closet!
- Lily Munster: Grandpa, I just had a terrible thought. Do you think Dr. Frankenstein could have gotten mixed up? I mean, taken Herman and left me Johann?
- Grandpa: Of course not, Lily. Heheh. Anyway, if you ask me, there's not enough difference to worry about.