- Herman Munster: Marilyn, I ask you, am I too fat?
- Marilyn Munster: Well...
- Herman Munster: Never mind!
- Grandpa: What are you yelling at Marilyn for, I mean don't you know that fat men are supposed to be jolly?
- Dr. Dudley: [unable to see without his glasses, doctor thinks Herman's hand is a dog] Now look, I told you once, you gotta get the dog outta here.
- Herman Munster: Doc, that's my hand.
- Dr. Dudley: You mean you were born with this?
- Herman Munster: No, someone else was. And I'll always be grateful. Not everyone will give you a hand when you need one.
- Dr. Dudley: [after exanining an unconsious Herman] I hate to say this, but, eh, you called me a little too late. There's nothing more I can do.
- Lily Munster: What do you mean? This is just a fainting spell, he's had these before.
- Grandpa: Well, about eight or nine times in the last one hundred years!
- Lily Munster: Well, it was very nice of Mrs. Farber not to send for the police after the way Herman acted.
- Marilyn Munster: Mrs. Farber was very understanding. As a matter of fact, she said whenever her husband goes on a diet, he acts hardly human. Becomes a regular fiend.