Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

The Final Sacrifice (1998)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer

Quotes 

• Crow T. Robot : I wonder if there's beer on the sun?

• Crow T. Robot : [seeing the company name Greidanus]  He comes from a long line of great anuses.

• Crow T. Robot : [sees snow in movie]  Hooray! The movie's closed today because of snow.

• Satoris : Why don't you ask your friend when he arrives?

  Crow T. Robot : Ha. The joke's on you. I don't have any friends.

• Rowsdower : I've been around, kid.

  Crow : ...and I've been a square kid.

• Troy : Rowsdower, have you always been a...

  Crow T. Robot : Hopeless drunk?

  Troy : ...Drifter?

  Rowsdower : No.

  Troy : Well, what were you before?

  Rowsdower : I was...

  Mike Nelson : A Chippendale's dancer.

• [a black-hooded cultist arrives at a house] 

  Tom Servo : Tee-hee. Tee-hee!

  Mike Nelson : His head is still factory-wrapped.

  Crow : [snickering]  Is he a door-to-door executioner?

• [Troy is being chased by cultists with machetes] 

  Crow : We just wanna cut your sugar cane crop!

• Crow : [the villian is praying]  God bless mommy, and daddy, and grandpa, and all of my evil henchmen.

• Crow T. Robot : I can't wait til they start the internet.

• Crow T. Robot : [as Troy]  Man I'm 25! I hope I hit puberty soon.

• Rowsdower : Go to hell!

  Crow T. Robot : Or at least Edmonton!

• Tom Servo : [as Satoris]  Ow! You shot my butt! What the hell, you SHOT me in the BUTT!

  [Satoris starts burning] 

  Crow : So Mike, most humans, when you shoot 'em in the butt, they burst into flames?

  Mike Nelson : Uh, I dunno.

  Crow : Can we try it? Turn around.

• Rowsdower : D'you have any idea what kind of people you're dealing with?

  Crow : They're from Saskatchewan!