- Catherine Duke: For the tenth time, Joe - I am not cold!
- Joe Garrelli: Yes, you are - and thanks to that dress, everybody knows it.
- Beth: So what do you do? You keep your money in a shoebox under your bed, or something?
- Joe Garrelli: Like I'm gonna tell you where I keep my shoebox.
- Bill McNeal: And remember, people - it's not whether you win or lose, because we are *all* gonna lose in every possible category.
- Jimmy James: Whenever I have a bee in my bonnet, I find it helps to take my hat off.
- Dave Nelson: ...Meaning?
- Jimmy James: Meaning I take my hat off, the bee flies away. What do I gotta do? Draw you a picture?
- Jimmy James: ...and the name of that kid was Richard Nixon.
- Bob Costas: I'm really not sure I understand the whole point of that story, but it does remind me of another presidential football anecdote. The year was 1948, and a young man named Gerald Ford...
- Jimmy James: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah - but the point is, he got a hernia from eatin' too much! What do I gotta do? Draw you a picture?
- Catherine Duke: Have you given any thought to what you might be wearing tonight?
- Joe Garrelli: Yeah - yeah; I'm gonna wear the same thing I always wear to special occasions: Jets jersey, green and white face paint, and a big foam hand that says "We're Number 1"!
- Joe Garrelli: You're not wearin' that, are you?
- Catherine Duke: Of course. Why not?
- Joe Garrelli: 'Cause everybody can see everything. How would you like it if I showed up with a bow tie and a jockstrap?
- Bill McNeal: You know, that reminds me of the time I was elected treasurer of my fraternity. We... never mind.