NewsRadio (TV Series)

Look Who's Talking (1998)

Phil Hartman: Bill McNeal

Quotes 

• Bill : Being loved isn't enough for me anymore. I need to *give* love. I need a baby; end of story.

  Dave : Couldn't you just get a puppy?

  Bill : I had one; it ran away.

  Dave : Well, then get a cat!

  Bill : Had one - ran away.

  Dave : Get a fish!

  Bill : Had one - asphyxiated while trying to run away. Strangest thing!

• Bill : Four years? I mean, I could be married and have a baby of my own by then!

  Adoption Agent : Yes, I suppose you could.

  Bill : So, what are you doin' tonight?

• Bill : Well, this is going to come as a bit of shock to everyone; I'm still trying to get used to it myself - but... I'm going to have a baby.

  Dave : ...No, you're not.

  Bill : Yes, I am! I'm going to have a baby!

  Matthew Brock : Wow! You're hardly even showing!

• Bill : I'm not exactly getting any younger, Lisa. If this were Logan's Run, I'd be Soylent Green by now.

• Bill : Parenting is something you can learn as you experience it - like riding a bike, or filing a restraining order against a crazy aunt.

• Bill : My life is about to change in a very big way, and I want all of you - my closest companions - to...

  Beth : Are you getting a liver transplant?

  Bill : What?

  Beth : Oh - no, I'm sorry; hang on. Uh, you're giving someone *your* liver?

  Bill : No, I'm not...

  Dave : You can't give someone your liver.

  Joe : Yeah - that's just what they *want* you to think.