NewsRadio (TV Series)

Rap (1997)

Maura Tierney: Lisa Miller

Quotes 

• Lisa : All right, I did not ask for the stupid award.

  Beth : If I were you, I'd be upset too. I mean, you? Cute? Come on.

  Lisa : Well, I'm not entirely uncute. I... I... why are you being nasty about this?

  Beth : I'm not being nasty. You're pretty. You're very pretty, in fact. But cute? I don't think so.

  Lisa : Well, I wasn't aware there was a difference.

  Beth : Well, of course there's a difference! Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and/or hyperactive, like me.

  Lisa : Uh-huh. What is beautiful?

  Beth : Beautiful means pretty and tall.

  Lisa : Gorgeous?

  Beth : Pretty with great hair.

  Lisa : Striking?

  Beth : Pretty with a big nose.

  Lisa : Okay, you're making this up.

  Beth : That's ridiculous. Why would I make it up?

  Lisa : Voluptuous?

  Beth : Pretty and fat.

  Lisa : Sexy?

  Beth : Pretty and easy.

  Lisa : Exotic?

  Beth : Ugly.

• Beth : [talking through a paper megaphone]  Attention, Lisa. Time for staff meeting. Time...

  Lisa : Beth!

  Beth : What?

  Lisa : I'm on the phone.

  Beth : But I am on the megaphone. Megaphone wins.

• Jimmy James : Let me tell you somethin', little miss. Advertising pays our bills, alright? Advertising pays your salary. Advertising is what made this country great!

  Lisa : Well, OK - maybe I misspoke...

  Jimmy James : What was the Constitution of the United States?

  [Jimmy incorrectly says The Constitution when he means The Declaration of Independence] 

  Lisa : A document...

  Jimmy James : No! It is an advertisement! An advertisement for liberty! "When in the course of human events..." I'm tellin' ya, that's right up there with "Put a tiger in your tank" and "Where's the beef?"

• Catherine Duke : Look, for as long as I've been in this business, every time I've gotten a promotion, people have always said it was because of... well, you know what.

  Lisa : Because you're black?

  Catherine Duke : What? No, because of these.

  [Points at breasts] 

  Catherine Duke : And this.

  [Points at ass] 

  Catherine Duke : And the one time these and this should get me something, it goes to somebody with...

  Lisa : With what?

  Catherine Duke : [Gestures at Lisa]  With those, and that. No offense.

  Lisa : Okay, all right, okay - these may not be those, but that isn't too shabby.

  [Catherine looks confused] 

  Lisa : My ass.

• Lisa : I'm not going to do the shoot.

  Jimmy James : Not doing the shoot? That's free advertisement for the station, and free advertisement... well, that's something you just can't buy.