- Mr. Duke: [Oscar is complaining about all the regulations in a new security apartment building] Mr Madison, it's for your own good.
- Oscar Madison: Mr Duke, when I look back at the best times of my life, none of it was for my own good.
- Oscar Madison: As we used to say, "If you can stand the heat, stay out of Hell's Kitchen."
- Felix Unger: I can imagine you and your buddies standing around in your leather jackets chuckling at that one.