The Office (TV Series)

Appraisals (2002)

Ricky Gervais: David Brent

Photos 

Quotes 

• David Brent : Under 'strengths', you've just put 'accounts'.

  Keith : Yeah.

  David Brent : That's your job, though. I was sort of looking for your skills within the job so is there anything else you could put there.Okay. That's just Under 'weaknesses', you've put 'eczema'.You've left this section blank. You haven't done the Q&A.

  Keith : I thought you filled that in.

  David Brent : No. This is aimed at you. 'To what extent do you believe that you have the skills and knowledgeto perform your job effectively?' And then you tick one of the boxes - 'Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know. ' What would you tick?

  Keith : Don't know

  David Brent : OK. Question 2. 'Do you feel you have received adequate training to use your computer effectively?'

  Keith : What are the options?

  David Brent : same as before. They're always the same. 'Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know.

  Keith : Don't know.

  David Brent : Don't know again. OK. 'Do you feel you are given the flexibility to decide how to accomplish your goals?' Do you want the options again?

  Keith : Yeah

  David Brent : Not at all. To some extent. It's always the same, Very much so. Don't know. Always the same.

  Keith : Don't know

  David Brent : If 'Don't know' wasn't there, what would you put?

  Keith : What are the options?

  David Brent : Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know.

  Keith : Very much so.

  David Brent : Do you remember the question?

  Keith : No

  David Brent : Do you... We're going to leave that there.

• David Brent : [Tim Canterbury is sitting down in David Brent's office to receive his appraisal]  Tim Canterbury. The Canterbury Tales. By Chaucer. And Shakespeare.

• David Brent : Today I'm doing the staff appraisals, and some people get a little bit nervous about that 'cos they think they're walking the long mile to put their head on the block. But they're wrong, it's a chance for them to tell me where we're going wrong. It's very much an opportunity...

  Gareth : ...to separate the wheat from the chaff.

  David Brent : Well, no, that sounds bad. It's not a witch-hunt, we're not trying to find out who the worst people are.

  Gareth : Well, we know who they are already.

  David Brent : Well, no.

  Gareth : I've written them down on my form.

  David Brent : You shouldn't have written them on your form.

  Gareth : I've underlined the worst ones.

  David Brent : You're missing the point.

  [looks at Gareth's form] 

  David Brent : Yep.

• [Brent is reading Dawn his poem, Excalibur] 

  David Brent : I froze your tears, and made a dagger / and stabbed it in my cock, forever / it stays there like Excalibur / Are you my Arthur? Say you are.

  Dawn : Good...

  David Brent : Take this cool dark steeled blade / steal it, sheathe it in your lake / I'd drown with you to be together / Must you breath? 'Cause I need heaven.

  Dawn : Ahhhh... it's powerful.

  David Brent : Very. And double meanings - did you get the double meanings?

  Dawn : I did.

• Neil Godwin : You're acting like a petulant little kid.

  David Brent : [shrugs]  Young at heart.