The Office (TV Series)

Charity (2002)

Ricky Gervais: David Brent

Photos 

Quotes 

• David Brent : I've sort of fused Flashdance with MC Hammer shit.

• David Brent : What's the weather like up there?

  Nathan 'Oggy : Oh I've heard that before.

  David Brent : They must have put you in a grow bag when you were little did they?

  Nathan 'Oggy : That's an old one.

  David Brent : Let's grow ourselves a big lanky goggle-eyed freak of a son.

  Nathan 'Oggy : All right calm down mate, there's no need to get offensive.

  David Brent : No no, I was joining in...

  Nathan 'Oggy : I didn't call you fatty as soon as I saw you.

  David Brent : No I was joining in with...

  Nathan 'Oggy : Just don't have a go at the eyes, cos that is a stigmatism I've had from the age of five, so that's what make them a bit bulbous, so don't just... I didn't call you the whale-man or like blubber-man.

• David Brent : Neil makes me laugh though, because, you know, it's his interfering, it's his timing. Going on about he wants some report doing-it's red nose day, you know. Ooh, what's more important, you Neil, with your report, or some starving children? Ooh I don't know. Ooh what would Lenny Henry say? I think we know-imagine him going out of the door on comic relief day and Dawn French is going 'Where you going, you haven't done the washing up. You haven't put the rubbish out.' 'Do it yourself I've gotta save some Africans.'

• David Brent : Who says famine has to be depressing?

• [on Comic Relief Day] 

  David Brent : I've got the Slough Gazette coming to take a photo.

  Gareth : What time are they coming down?

  David Brent : About five-ish, so...

  Gareth : They'll love us, won't they?

  David Brent : No, I think it's just me, I've got something planned.

  Gareth : But we can all be in it, though?

  David Brent : No, not really, I called them, so...

  Gareth : But they'll love us, all being stupid.

  David Brent : Stop trying to worm your way into someone else's photo!

• David Brent : You've seen me entertain, and raise money, but maybe I'd like to do that in the future for a living you know. Use my humour and my profile to both help and amuse people, you know. And if it's ideas for TV shows, game shows or whatever you want, I'm your man. I'm already exploring the entertainment avenue with my management training, but I'd like to do that on a global scale really. And that's not going 'Ooh, look at me today, I'm entertaining whilst saving lives aren't I brilliant?', it's going 'If you think I'm brilliant, then give generously and help save these guys who are starving, but are also brilliant'-not as entertainers, a lot of them can't even speak English, but you know don't give them their own game show, but save them from dying at least. And then maybe they could do something in their own country, on television or whatever they have, the wireless or I don't know, give them a job on the world service or something.

• David Brent : [to Gareth]  Stop trying to worm in on someone else's photo!