The Office (TV Series)

Downsize (2001)

Martin Freeman: Tim Canterbury

Quotes 

• [Tim snatches Gareth's stapler and holds it out the window] 

  Tim : You stay where you are okay? I'm gonna let go, right, unless you stop acting like a fool.

  Gareth : Well, you won't, so...

  Tim : Well, I have, so...

  [Time drops the Stapler out the window] 

  Gareth : What if that kills someone?

  Tim : Kills somebody? Umm, well, they'll think you're the murderer. It's got your name on it.

  Gareth : Why would a murderer put his name on the murder weapon?

  Tim : To stop people borrowing it?

  Gareth : David.

  Tim : I hate the fact that you bring me down to this; really I do, I resent it.

• [Tim builds a wall of boxes between his and Gareth's desk] 

  Tim : I don't like acting like a kid, do you know what I mean? But he's a bit...

  Gareth : What are you doing?

  Tim : I don't actually want to have to look at you, Gareth.

  Gareth : You can't do that.

  Tim : Why not?

  Gareth : Health and Safety.

  Tim : Health and Safety. Erm, why? Crushed by Cardboard, or what?

  Gareth : No, number one: blocking out light. Number two: misuse of company files.

  Tim : Misuse of files? Yeah, see this is why the whole redundancy thing doesn't bother me. If I have to work with him another day, right, I'm just going to, I will... I will slit my throat.

  [Mimes a throat slitting action] 

  Gareth : Yeah, you won't do it like that, though. You'd get the knife in behind the windpipe, then pull it down like that.