Oz (TV Series)

Cruel and Unusual Punishments (1999)

Christopher Meloni: Chris Keller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chris Keller : Hey, I'm gonna see you today, right?

  Sister Pete : Three o'clock, visiting one of your ex-wives.

  Chris Keller : Yeah.

  Sister Pete : Which one? Kitty or Angelique?

  Chris Keller : Bonnie, wife number 2 and number 4, she's the best.

  Sister Pete : Hmmm.

  Chris Keller : There she is, there she is.

  Sister Pete : Aha, a redhead.

  Chris Keller : No, the other one.

  Sister Pete : Chris she's...

  Chris Keller : Huge.

  Sister Pete : Well, did she gain some weight after the divorce?

  Chris Keller : No, she was that way when I married her. Both times. Bye.

  [He goes into the visitation room and starts making out with Bonnie] 

• Chris Keller : You saw my ex, Bonnie? When I met her, she was all alone, and very unhappy, so I knew it'd be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know, was after I broke her heart, would she still love me. See, I am a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad... You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table. Breakthrough.

• Ryan O'Reily : Neuter's a fag.

  Augustus Hill : What makes you say that?

  Ryan O'Reily : Look at the way he's grabbing Pecky?

  Augustus Hill : Their fighting.

  Ryan O'Reily : Yo all I'm saying is that its a lot of body contact man.

  Augustus Hill : That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of, a gay puppet.

  Chris Keller : One of the teletubbys is gay.

  Augustus Hill : What?

  Chris Keller : Yeah Falwell, the reverend somebody says twinky dink or whatever his name is, he's a butt pirate.

  Augustus Hill : That's nuts, listen you gotta have a, a cock to be gay.

  Chris Keller : Where does it say you gotta have a cock to be gay? All you need is a mouth so you can suck cock.

• Sister Pete : So you went along with Beecher not in the name of the Aryan Brotherhood, but to see if he would love you no matter what.

  Chris Keller : At first I wanted unconditional surrender, then I wanted unconditional love. But Beecher don't love me.

  Sister Pete : And that's killing you inside.

  Chris Keller : Yeah.

• Chris Keller : You saw my ex, Bonnie. When I met her she was all alone, very unhappy. So I knew it would be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know... was after I broke her heart would she still love me.

  [He pauses and lets this settle] 

  Chris Keller : See, I'm a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come and to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad...

  [he pauses] 

  Chris Keller : You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table.