- Norman Stanley Fletcher: [Urwin has taken a hostage and says he might go to Mexico] Funny people, Mexicans, y'know, they're very sort of... well, Mexican, I suppose would describe 'em. All the dogs limp there, y'know.
- Mrs. Jamieson: I didn't know that.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Oh, yes, well known. Yeah. It's to do with the food... A man wakes up in the mornin', he thinks about his horrible breakfast, and he kicks the dog, see.
- Reg Urwin: Really? Well, I'd always fancied Mexico.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Oh yeah? Well, contrary to popular travel brochure myth, they're not a happy people, y'know, the Mexicans. I suppose anyone that has tequila as their national drink is bent on self-destruction, e'nt they?
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Look, if we knew what you was lookin' for, we might be able to help ya.
- Mr. Barrowclough: Drink.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: [feigning shock] Drink? What, you mean, as in 'drink' you mean? What, you mean alcohol, you mean the old 'Vera Lynn', the mother's ruin?
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: [for those outside Britain, the reference to 'Vera Lynn' is rhyming slang]
- Mr. Barrowclough: That is what I mean, yes.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Well, I'm a strict teetotaler, Mr Barrowclough.
- Mr. Barrowclough: Awww, Fletcher, really.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Yes I am. I don't touch tea, and never have.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: [after Barrowclough leaves, Fletch and Godber access their hidden booze, mimicking a restaurant scene] Good evening, sir. And what will it be?
- Lennie Godber: The usual.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Oh. Care for a drink first?
- Lennie Godber: Why not.
- Norman Stanley Fletcher: Large one, sir?
- Lennie Godber: Mind your own business.
- Governor Venables: You're new here, aren't you Keegan?
- Reg Urwin: Oh, I'm not new in the prison, sir, I'm just a new trusty. Mr McKay's Christmas box, because I'm getting out soon, like.
- Governor Venables: Oh, good, good. Well, see you don't fall back into your old ways.
- Reg Urwin: Oh, there's no chance of that, sir. Not since the wife passed away.
- Governor Venables: Oh, I'm so sorry. When was this?
- Reg Urwin: A few weeks before I came inside.
- Governor Venables: Poor woman. What happened?
- Reg Urwin: I murdered her.
- Governor Venables: [taken aback] Well, see that it doesn't happen again.