Primetime Glick (TV Series)

Tim Allen/Edie Falco (2002)

Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, Miss Gathercole, Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jiminy Glick : I remember exactly where I was when I heard that Tommy Lee and Pam had split up. And you don't know who to believe in anymore. It's like when I just heard that Tyson had split up, that seemed sad too.

  Edie Falco : Tyson split up with who?

  Jiminy Glick : Ssssh! I've got more questions!

  Edie Falco : Sorry.

  Jiminy Glick : [long pause as Jiminy stares at her]  If you keep interrupting me, when I have more questions, how can I possibly double task? I can't double task. You expect too much from me, girl!

  [another long pause] 

  Jiminy Glick : I don't mean to get heavy, and I know you're my guest, but that's wrong. And I want you to talk to your psychic or shrink or to your God, God forbid you should go to church, and question why would interrupt me. Thank you very much.

• Jiminy Glick : So the Italian people... how come they pretend not to be killers so much?

  Edie Falco : [confused]  "How come they pretend not to be killers... so much? How come they pretend not to be killers so much?"

  Jiminy Glick : Any thoughts?

  Edie Falco : No.

• Jiminy Glick : Oh, you have an Aunt Carmella!

  Edie Falco : I do.

  Jiminy Glick : Oh, that's wonderful. I had an Aunt Carmella too.

  Edie Falco : You really do?

  Jiminy Glick : Yes.

  Edie Falco : Are you Italian?

  Jiminy Glick : No. And nor was she.

  Edie Falco : Oh, okay.

  Jiminy Glick : We just called her Carmella 'cause she always smelled of garlic.

• Jiminy Glick : Your real name is Tim Allen Dick.

  Tim Allen : Yes.

  Jiminy Glick : And I always thought that was just, y'know, someone describing you. But that's your actual last name, is it not?

  Tim Allen : Yes, Jiminy, it is.

  Jiminy Glick : And why did you change it, Tim Allen?

  Tim Allen : Well, because you can't go on TV as comedian Tim Dick. Then people, the first time I did that, television show, they said, why not just call it Tim Penis? I mean, if you're gonna go that way.

  Jiminy Glick : Tim Penis, or, or Tim Wiener, or something like that.

• Jiminy Glick : This has been lots of fun, I've been sittin' with, uh, Tim Allen, Dick. And, and he's been so much...

  Tim Allen : When you put a pause in there like that, people get the idea that you just called me a dick, you didn't...

  Jiminy Glick : No no, I wouldn't call ya- you're Tim Allen... DICK.

  [laughs]