Primetime Glick (TV Series)
Tom Hanks/Ben Stiller (2002)
Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, Miss Gathercole, Various
Photos
Quotes
-
Jiminy Glick : You were on "SNL". Oh, I loved you, I loved your character, "That's the ticket!" That was wonderful! You were wonderful on that show!
Ben Stiller : That was Jon Lovitz. I, uh, I wasn't really there for that long. I was only there for about five weeks.
Jiminy Glick : You failed.
Ben Stiller : I left.
Jiminy Glick : You were no good on it.
Ben Stiller : I couldn't figure out how to make it work for me.
Jiminy Glick : Well why didn't you just write some sketches and come up with some characters, slick the hair back and get a laugh? Was that too tricky for ya?
Ben Stiller : I was young, I was inexperienced, I was trying to find my way.
Jiminy Glick : And because you were Jerry Stiller's son, that carried a lot of weight on you.
Ben Stiller : There was a certain expectation, maybe.
Jiminy Glick : And you weren't delivering, because he used to be funny, and he would always get the laughs, and your mother and father are so gifted. So when you went out there, I would imagine it just BOMBED and bored people so desperately, it made people feel like maybe you shouldn't hang around.
-
Jiminy Glick : I loved you in "Something About Mary".
Ben Stiller : Oh, thank you.
Jiminy Glick : We love Mary! And what was that in your hair, that, was it guy goop?
Ben Stiller : I'm sorry, what was that?
Jiminy Glick : Guy goop.
Ben Stiller : Um, it was. It was guy g- it wasn't REAL guy goop.
Jiminy Glick : It wasn't real?
Ben Stiller : Does that disgust you? I don't wanna...
Jiminy Glick : No, it doesn't disgust me, but a lot of people have told me that it was real guy goop. Someone who worked on the show.
Ben Stiller : Really.
Jiminy Glick : They said he used real guy goop.
Ben Stiller : Ooh, that's disgusting. Horrible.
Jiminy Glick : But I, I was hoping that it wasn't real guy goop.
Ben Stiller : I can tell you it wasn't. Because it was hanging off the ear in the scene.
Jiminy Glick : Well, guy goop can do that.
Ben Stiller : Have you had that experience?
Jiminy Glick : I don't wanna go into detail, 'cause I don't reveal. It's in my book, however, if you wanna pick it up. It's on tape.
Ben Stiller : I'd love to hear that story.
Jiminy Glick : And when you got your little wiener caught in the zipper.
Ben Stiller : Yes.
Jiminy Glick : That must've been something. Did you really do that, or was that another prop?
Ben Stiller : That was a prop.
Jiminy Glick : 'Cause it happened to me once.
Ben Stiller : Really.
Jiminy Glick : Yes.
Ben Stiller : Really.
Jiminy Glick : Yes, it was terrible. Liza Minelli was opening in "Victor Victoria", and I raced to the theater and...
[makes a surprised face]
Jiminy Glick : suddenly I zipped my little, my little wiener in there. And I just left it out, 'cause I didn't want to be late. And the next thing I know, Liz Smith comments on it.
Ben Stiller : Really.
Jiminy Glick : Yeah, she said it looked like a shih tzu.
[Ben chuckles]
Jiminy Glick : The little wiener. And I thought that was cruel. The press can be cruel.
Ben Stiller : I think that's their job. Their job is to...
Jiminy Glick : To be cruel.
Ben Stiller : ...Stir it up. Just stir it up. You know, they need something to write about, right?
Jiminy Glick : But it's not fair, is it, Ben Stiller?
Ben Stiller : No, it's not fair. But this is what we've signed up for, isn't it? I mean, this is, y'know, we knew we were gonna get this when we went into show business.
Jiminy Glick : I'm sorry, you're losing me.
Ben Stiller : The press.
Jiminy Glick : The press, no no, I brought up the press, dear.
Ben Stiller : If you want to do this, what we do for a living, to entertain people, and I really consider you as much an entertainer as anybody...
Jiminy Glick : So far, I'm with ya, it was when you kept talking after that, it was just...
[moves right hand in front of his face]
Jiminy Glick : my whole life.