Darren McGavin: Captain Grey Holden

Quotes 

• Captain Grey Holden : But I thought I've been saving that space, Mr. Sickel.

  J.C. Sickel : Yeah, for what, for instance?

  Captain Grey Holden : Well, for instance, it'd just about accommodate one hundred and twelve crates of mechanical apple peelers.

  J.C. Sickel : Mechanical apple peelers?

  Captain Grey Holden : Got any idea where I might locate such an item?

  J.C. Sickel : Why, blast your scheming Yankee hide. You know full well and good that I've got a hundred and twelve cases of mechanical apple peelers gathering dust in this warehouse for most of three years! Come on, come on.

  Captain Grey Holden : Well, why don't you sell 'em?

  J.C. Sickel : Because I can't sell no mechanical apple peelers, that's why! Neither can no one else.

  Captain Grey Holden : Well, the man who sold you mechanical apple peelers to you, he sure could sell mechanical apple peelers.

• Ashley Cowan : Ah, Captain... is it Grey Holden or Holden Grey? I never can...

  Captain Grey Holden : What are you doing here, Cowan? Did you run out of riverboats to be thrown off of?

  Ashley Cowan : Why, Captain, I've never been thrown off this one, have I?

  Captain Grey Holden : That's only a technicality. I've never caught you cheating.

  Ashley Cowan : And you never shall.

• Captain Grey Holden : All right. There's your refund for the rest of the trip. There'll be boats passing by here every few hours. Just remember the name of this one, the Enterprise. I wouldn't want you to make the mistake of boarding her again.

  Ashley Cowan : Your concern for my welfare is a tender thing, Captain.