Quotes
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Titus Pullo : Found you at last, you bastards. I've been through the whole damned army.
Centurion : The famous Titus Pullo. To what do we owe this honor, citizen? Do you come to wish us luck?
Titus Pullo : Heh. Listen, uh, I've got most of my kit, but I've lost my crest. Surely someone's got a spare, you think?
[the centurion hesitates]
Titus Pullo : It's only a crest. It's not like I lost my sword.
Centurion : Well, you can't march with us. You've left the legion, haven't you? You signed yourself out.
Titus Pullo : I know, but... Thirteenth forever, eh?
Centurion : It's enlisted men only in the triumph. You're a civilian.
Titus Pullo : Civilian? I'm the hero of the whole mumpin' legion, I am. I saved your skin more than once. Shouldn't have to remind you of that.
Centurion : If you wanna sign up for a few more years, that's a different story. You can march with us 'til your feet are nubs.
Titus Pullo : [angrily] Haven't I spilled enough blood for the Thirteenth?
Centurion : Don't be like that. I don't fucking make the rules, do I? I follow them. It's enlisted men only, don't push it. If you come by after, I'll stand you some drinks, eh?
Titus Pullo : [scoffs] Stand me some drinks? I've got better things to do than go drinking with the likes of you.
Centurion : Well, walk on, then, citizen.
[Pullo doesn't move]
Centurion : Walk on!
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[Erastes Fulmen finds Pullo drunk and despondent in a tavern]
Erastes Fulmen : Titus Pullo. You look tired, my friend.
Titus Pullo : I'm drunk.
Erastes Fulmen : These are hard times for war veterans.
Titus Pullo : You're right there.
Erastes Fulmen : Too many soldiers back in Rome. Not enough work to go round. It's a sad situation. But it's a crime to see a man of your ability unemployed.
Titus Pullo : I'm doing fine. Plenty of irons in the fire.
Erastes Fulmen : Well, if your prospects don't work out, you can ask on any street in the Aventine for Erastes Fulmen. I'll always have a job for you.
Titus Pullo : I'm a soldier, not a murderer.
Erastes Fulmen : These days, Pullo, is there really any difference?
[he drops a coin on the counter]
Erastes Fulmen : Have a drink on me. When you've sobered up, come and see me. We'll talk a little business.