- Pamela Rodgers: Now, it's not that people over 30 don't approve of the new morality, they just don't know how to use it!
- Johnny Brown: I read about an 85-year old man marrying a 15-year old girl.
- Goldie Hawn: No foolin'?
- Johnny Brown: Darn little!
- The Parson: I threw my first hippie wedding yesterday. Instead of throwing the bridal bouquet, they smoked it.
- Lily Tomlin: You know, the world's like a newborn baby. No matter how much it's changed, it keeps making a mess.
- Dan Blocker: Who says that television isn't educational? You ever think of how many repairmen's sons it sends to college?
- Pamela Rodgers: The other day at the studio, I did a torrid love scene. It went so well, the producer wants me to do one in a movie.