Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)
Cat Showdown (1997)
Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman
Photos
Quotes
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Harvey Kinkle : I can tell her right now. I'll never be able to dig up that much cash.
Sabrina Spellman : Me neither. Plus I can't ask my aunts, they're on a "teach her the value of a dollar" kick.
Harvey Kinkle : What made them do that?
Sabrina Spellman : I went on a "blow my allowance on dumb stuff" kick.
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Salem Saberhagen : I don't believe it. I just had my credit card yanked.
Sabrina Spellman : You have a credit card?
Salem Saberhagen : Yes. I was pre-approved by the good people of the Bank of Newark. Now I'm a little over-extended.
Sabrina Spellman : I'm sorry to hear that.
Salem Saberhagen : I appreciate your concern.
Sabrina Spellman : No, I was gonna hit you up for a loan.
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Sabrina Spellman : A cat show? I can't see you in a cat show.
Salem Saberhagen : Don't you think I'm pretty?
Sabrina Spellman : Of course.
Salem Saberhagen : Then get an application. This is our chance for a quick score.
Sabrina Spellman : All right. Okay, name, Salem Spellman.
Salem Saberhagen : May I remind you I'm your cat, not your pet. I have my own last name.
Sabrina Spellman : You do?
Salem Saberhagen : Saberhagen. Salem Saberhagen.
Sabrina Spellman : And what breed are you?
Salem Saberhagen : American Shorthair. And darn proud of it. Write that down. The judges will eat that up.
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Salem Saberhagen : Look at all these losers.
Sabrina Spellman : Hey, you better behave yourself.
Salem Saberhagen : I will.
Sabrina Spellman : You always say that, but... If people see me talking to my cat, they'll think I'm nuts.
Salem Saberhagen : Look around.
Haley : [to her cat] Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
Andrew : [to his cat] You wanna be a winner, think like a winner.
Sabrina Spellman : Okay, we can talk all we want.
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Sabrina Spellman : [Bob Gordon is inspecting Salem] What is he looking for?
Harvey Kinkle : To see if it's a boy or a girl?
Bob Gordon : This cat has excellent bone structure, a lovely coat, and a somewhat bemused expression. This is one of my top three American short hairs.
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Bob Gordon : What can you tell me about Salem's temperament?
Sabrina Spellman : Well, he's very friendly, very focused, and just a little power mad.
Bob Gordon : Sounds like he's all cat.
Sabrina Spellman : Right. And he's got a real head for numbers. May I demonstrate? Ask him a simple multiplication question.
Bob Gordon : Okay. Salem, uh, what's seven times five?
[Salem places his paw on the three and on the five on a board]
Bob Gordon : Amazing. Although we do judge purely on appearance.
Sabrina Spellman : Isn't that life.
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Sabrina Spellman : You don't have to hide the fact that you're...
Bob Gordon : Don't say it.
Sabrina Spellman : Bald.
Bob Gordon : Shh! You have no idea what this means. It could destroy my career.
Sabrina Spellman : How? Aren't honesty and integrity the most important things to a journalist?
Bob Gordon : Not in this decade. People like people with hair. They've done studies. The public hasn't trusted a bald man since Eisenhower.
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Sabrina Spellman : You didn't miss anything, except confirmation we live in a rotten, crooked, corrupt, stinking world.
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Sabrina Spellman : Mr. Gordon thought he needed this to gain people's trust. But trust should not depend on fake hair. Trust should depend on real knowledge, integrity, and accurate reporting.
Hilda Spellman : Sabrina, he's on TV news.
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Salem Saberhagen : Sabrina, where are you?
Sabrina Spellman : [as a cat] Next to you. In a cage.
Salem Saberhagen : Salem, this is awful. If I can't point, I can't turn myself back. What was that?
Salem Saberhagen : What?
Sabrina Spellman : There's something in here with me.
Salem Saberhagen : What?
Sabrina Spellman : Oh, it's just my tail.