- Salem Saberhagen: [to the two aunts] Wanna really scare people? Leave the house without your makeup!
- [gets zapped onto the bicycle with the broken saddle]
- Salem Saberhagen: Oh, it pinches! Pinches!
- [bicycle zooms out the door]
- Sabrina Spellman: [sounds of smash] Oh! I think we dented his cat-hood on that Chrysler.
- Miles Goodman: Thanks to your union holiday we're already behind schedule.
- Sabrina Spellman: Well, we'll get started in a minute. Just as soon as I talk to Vladimir about our big scene. Alone.
- [drags the vampire off]
- Morgan Cavanaugh: What big scene?
- Miles Goodman: The vampire kills you within the first five minutes of the movie.
- Sabrina Spellman: Oh, obviously you haven't read the rewrite!
- [out the door]
- Roxie King: [movie-making] It's just as well we're shooting it again. It doesn't really feel like my character would scream here.
- Miles Goodman: Would you mind if the director does? Take 47! And action!
- Vladimir Kortensky: [going to bite] How nice of you to sacrifice yourself to save your friend.
- Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, well, let's get it over with.
- [offers neck]
- Vladimir Kortensky: [savoring] Tasty. What is your blood type? I'd like to know whether to have you with fish or lamb.
- Sabrina Spellman: How about with 'stake'?
- [but her attempt fails]
- Sabrina Spellman: I knew I should have gone with the kebab skewer! Gotta go!