- Robert Russell: Why would I tell you, of all people?
- Sabrina Spellman: Because I unfairly damaged your reputation, and now I just wanna help you. But I can't help you, unless you let me... help you. This isn't helping, is it?
- Roxie King: [testing public address system] Testing, check, check, check.
- [loud feedback]
- Roxie King: That's why we check.
- Sabrina Spellman: [rejected too-tame news articles] What if I include the fight over who had the best brownies, the nuts lady or the no-nuts lady?
- Mike Shelby: You're nuts, lady. Bye!
- [waves, goes off]
- Josh: [looking at TV screen] Call me crazy, but that doll is a dead ringer for your Aunt Zelda.
- Sabrina Spellman: No way. That doll has a butt.