Salute Your Shorts (TV Series)

Ellen Comes to Camp (1992)

Kirk Baily: Kevin 'Ug' Lee

Quotes 

• Kevin 'Ug' Lee : [after Ug falls over cause his shoelaces were tied together]  Budnick, I'm gonna nail you!

• Ellen : No one has ever treated me this way! No one!

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Ellen, is that you?

  Ellen : I'm gonna go tell my Uncle and there's nothing you can do about it.

• Kevin 'Ug' Lee : No one has ever disciplined Ellen in her whole life and Dr. Kahn was delighted someone could teach her a lesson. And he even said I could take you to a concert out of camp. And he's paying!

• Dina Alexander : Hey Ug, thanks for sticking us with Elle she trashed our bunks.

  Telly Radford : Yeah, she ruined my shirt.

  Z.Z. Ziff : She cracked my terrarium.

  Dina Alexander , Telly Radford , Z.Z. Ziff : And we're gonna tell Dr. Kahn!

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : No, no, no, please, please don't tell Dr. Kahn! I'll pay for all of the damages. I don't even know what a terrarium is but it's probably expensive.

  Dina Alexander : And the only place I bought my makeup at is out of business.

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : So that means you won't be able to buy any more makeup.

  Dina Alexander : No, it means I have to special order it from France, have it shipped here and it'll cost three times as much to replace it.

  Bobby Budnick : [Budnick and Ronnie come over]  Hey, Ug, that Ellen kid broke into the rec room and snapped all my guitar strings.

  Ronnie Pinsky : And then she smashed my drums.

  [they all stick their hand out for money] 

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Oh, boy.

  [he gets out his wallet] 

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Okay, there's yours. That's for you. For your T-shirt. For your terrarium. And for French make-up.

  [looks inside his wallet] 

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Boy, getting a raise is costing me a fortune.

• Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : That was my sandwich and I paid for that bag of chips. That's it, I'm gonna tell Dr. Kahn that his niece is a thief.

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : No, no, please, please Donkeylips just take mine, take mine, I don't wanna make any waves and jeopardize my raise.

  [gets out his wallet] 

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Oh, and here's some money to pay for the potato chips. Okay? There, that should do it.

  [he sighs and puts his wallet away] 

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : I wasn't really hungry anyway.