Salute Your Shorts (TV Series)

Ellen Comes to Camp (1992)

Samantha Ryan: Ellen

Quotes 

• Ellen : Being Dr. Kahn's niece definitely has some privileges.

  Dina Alexander : I mean, you can do whatever you want, to whoever you want, and you can not get in trouble.

  Ellen : Pretty cool, huh?

  Dina Alexander : Yeah.

  Z.Z. Ziff : It's like you've got a protective shield around you.

  Telly Radford : Come on. Let's use this to our fullest advantage.

• Dina Alexander : I haven't seen anything like this, I mean, you control camp.

  Ellen : I always do whatever I want, at school, in camp, wherever I am. I'm my own boss.

  Telly Radford : If I was my own boss, I'd say I didn't have to go to instructional swim right now.

  Z.Z. Ziff : Or weight lifting.

  Dina Alexander : Or soccer.

  Ellen : Who says you have to?

  Z.Z. Ziff : Ug says so.

  Telly Radford : See, unfortunately we don't have your pool, so we gotta go to activities, Wanna come?

  Ellen : Activities? Not a chance. You guys don't mind If I stay here and hang in your bunk for a while do you?

  Dina Alexander : Ellen, our bunk is your bunk, make yourself completely at home.

  Ellen : Thanks!

  Z.Z. Ziff : Let's go.

  [they leave and the door closes] 

  Ellen : I will.

• Ellen : [sneezes in one of the girl's white powder makeup kits]  Look, it's snowing.

• Sponge Harris : What happens If touch these two wires together?

  Sponge Harris : You activate the chemicals inside, cause a chain reaction and then it ends with -

  [a big puff of smoke comes out and hits Spoonge in the face] 

  Sponge Harris : an explosion.

  [Ellen snickers] 

  Sponge Harris : Now Ellen, that was very bad. Why did you do that?

  Ellen : I felt like it.

  [in childish voice] 

  Ellen : Now what are you gonna do about it? Tell my Uncle?

  Sponge Harris : No, I'm gonna very nicely ask you to sit down. Instead of working with the volcano. You're work with the computer tracking system.

  Ellen : Great, I love computers! But what happens when type in the word 'erase'...

  Sponge Harris : Did you say erase?

  Ellen : Yep!

  Sponge Harris : Absolutely nothing happens, nothing happens at all.

  Ellen : Nothing happens huh? Then, what about 'reformat'?

  Sponge Harris : No! You just completely reprogrammed my entire disk! Everything's ruined! And do you know what I'm gonna do?

  Ellen : Tell my Uncle and get me kicked out of camp?

  Sponge Harris : No, I'm gonna sit here very nicely, very quietly and reprogram the whole thing.

• Bobby Budnick : So what else are you doing besides making everyone's life miserable?

  Ellen : My folks dumped me here and I'm trying to get kicked out.

  Bobby Budnick : Well that's cool, but you just need to chill out. I mean, there's a fine line between being cool and being a fool.

  Ellen : Oh yeah?

  Bobby Budnick : Yeah, being cool is bending the rules, being a fool is breaking em apart. Besides being cool gets you further with the friends.

  Ellen : You know something? You're right, what you said kinda makes sense.

  Bobby Budnick : It does? What did I say?

  Ellen : That thing you said about chilling out. I need to do that if I'm ever gonna be really happy. I need to change the way I look at the world and stuff. You've really opened my eyes.

  Bobby Budnick : You really mean that?

  Ellen : From the bottom of my heart. Now can I have my sodas back?

  [Budnick gives her the sodas] 

  Ellen : Thanks.

• Bobby Budnick : [Donkeylips kicks Budnick in the back lightly]  Why did you do that?

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : Because the sign on your back said so.

  Bobby Budnick : Ellen.

  Ellen : [Ellen pops up from outside the window]  You called? Hi guys, great soda. Why don't you have some?

  [she opens up the soda and sprays it everywhere] 

• Ellen : No one has ever treated me this way! No one!

  Kevin 'Ug' Lee : Ellen, is that you?

  Ellen : I'm gonna go tell my Uncle and there's nothing you can do about it.

• Bobby Budnick : First you tie Sponge to the track which I thought was pretty cool but no one ever, ever takes sodas from this camp without my permission. So I suggest you make like the wind and blow before get really angry.

  Ellen : Hey, you thought that was pretty good tying Sponge to the tracks, huh, huh, huh?

  Bobby Budnick : You say 'huh' one more time and I'm gonna...

  Ellen : What?

• Ellen : [bouncing on the bed]  Hi, Mr. Kick Me, where is everyone?

  Bobby Budnick : As far away from you as possible.

  Ellen : That's they're loss.

  Bobby Budnick : You can stay in this bunk for as long as you want

  [grabs magazine] 

  Bobby Budnick : 'scuse me.

  Ellen : What do I have to do to get you guys to chase me?

  Bobby Budnick : There's nothing you can do. So we figured all you wanted was attention and the worst possible thing we could do to you is ignore you.

  Ellen : You're gonna ignore me while I thrash your stuff?

  Bobby Budnick : You can trash whatever you wanna trash. Destroy whatever you want to destroy and no one will punish or bother you. You'll have complete freedom.

  Ellen : Great!

  Bobby Budnick : The only way you will be punished is if you push that little red button over there but you'll only be bringing on the punishment yourself.

  Ellen : Oh yeah? What kind of punishment?

  Bobby Budnick : Well, you'll find out but don't say I didn't warn ya.

• Ellen : Where is everyone? You can't catch me. Hey guy's I'm right here. Okay, I'm right out in the open.