- Church Lady: Well, one time I peeked through a hedge and saw minister Bob mowing his lawn in his Bermuda shorts. And to fight my demonic urges I popped a Butter Rum Life Saver and sucked away like there was no tomorrow.
- Dennis Hopper: It took me twelve years to get here. You know? Now who'd think I'd have to, eh, be sober to host Saturday Night Live, man? I used to bring them their drugs! Nah, I'm just kidding, just kidding.