- Weekend Update Anchor: In the news this week: President-elect George Bush this week finally owned up and admitted that the only reason he chose Dan Quayle as his running mate was to guarantee that no one would attempt to assassinate him in the next four years. "This guy is a walking, breathing bullet-proof vest," said Bush.
- Vincent: Bartholemew, entertain the lady.
- Catherine: Yeah! Jennifer, did you know that Bartholomew knows a lot about the city's sewers?
- Jennifer: Uh.. no. He, he never mentioned that..
- Bartholemew: Yeah, well, the, the sewers. Well, that's where I live, right? So... you know, I use them to get around a lot, so... I don't know, it's funny, but you can learn a lot about the city that way.