- Gayle Gleason: Now, explain to us how making collages can heal the self esteem.
- Mary Jo "Didi" Robbins: Well, making a collage is just sort of a visual way of saying 'This is who I am.'
- Hal "The Hawk" Robbins: And I like the smell of the glue.
- Mom: So you're just gonna be the weird kid in school, is that it? Well, let me tell you something: it's not fun being the outcast, okay? I didn't like REO Speedwagon in school, and people thought I was strange. Luckily, I had a nice rack, so I was able to overcome it!
- George W. Bush: Is it cool if I do a couple of lines?
- Weekend Update Anchor: What?
- George W. Bush: A couple lines of my book! A couple lines of my book! My book!
- Roberta: I have... I have 8 cats. There's Langly, Dominic, Hi Ho, Nut Nut, Montell, Jesus...
- Sarah: Uh, Daddy, could you... could you pass some of the turkey, please?
- Roberta: [continues] Othello, and the most finicky: Gilligan. He'll only eat Fancy Feast. He's funny, 'cause he'll only eat Fancy Feast.
- Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating] Breaking my own rule of interspecies dating, I invited Peepers home for a little 'Menage A Ba'. He said 'ba', which meant only one thing: I was gonna get some action!