Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Calista Flockhart/Ricky Martin (2000)

Tina Fey: Weekend Update Anchor

Quotes 

• Tina Fey : When Al Gore realized that he still had a chance in Florida Tuesday, he called George W. Bush at 3:30 in the morning to withdraw his concession, saying "Circumstances have changed." Bush replied, "Unbelievable. Let me make sure I understand. You're taking back your concession?" Gore then said, "Well, you don't have to be snippy." To which Bush replied, "Jeb has assured me we have Florida." To which Gore responded, "Let me explain something. Your younger brother is not the ultimate authority on this." To which Bush said, "You conceded. No take-backs. No do-overs." And Gore was like, "I had my fingers crossed." And Bush was all like, "I'm not trying to hear that, see!" And then Gore was like, "Oh, no you didn't."

  [audience applause] 

  Tina Fey : Yeah, and then Gore hung up on Bush and Bush totally Star 69-ed him and was like, "I know where you're at. I got your number on my Caller ID." And now, Jimmy, they're like not speaking, which is so awkward for me, 'cause I'm friends with both of them...

  Jimmy Fallon : That's so unfair, that they put you in that position.

  Tina Fey : I know, right? Well, back to you...

• Tina Fey : Three executions in the state of Texas have been rescheduled for next week. Governor Bush said he felt it was best to postpone the executions until after the election is decided so he can really enjoy them.

• Tina Fey : Hillary Clinton's victory in the New York Senate race this week was greeted with disdain by Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, who warned that when she gets to the Senate, she'll just be "one of one hundred." To which Hillary responded, "I'm used to being one of one hundred, I'm married to Bill Clinton."