Scrubs (TV Series)
My Drama Queen (2003)
Sam Lloyd: Ted Buckland
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Perry Cox : Captain Clip-On? Did you go ahead and tattle on me?
Ted : Oh, please, with the shocked look. Newsflash -- I'm sterile!
[Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso both look at him in odd surprise]
Ted : I mean gutless!... My guys swim in circles. I--I think it's the bike-riding.
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Dr. Bob Kelso : Sooo, Ted! How is Professor Cox doing?
Ted : Excellent, sir! And you know what else? I quit!
Dr. Bob Kelso : No, you don't.
Ted : Well, I'm leaving early today!
Dr. Bob Kelso : No, you're coming back to my office and doing busy work!
Ted : Fine. But I'm getting a soda first!
Dr. Bob Kelso : Whatever.
[Dr. Kelso leaves, and Ted raises his arms over his head in victory]
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Ted : See, Dr. Cox, this is, uh, the sort of hostile behavior that can cause us legal difficulty.
Dr. Perry Cox : [whistles] Ted! I just might rip that tie off your neck and jam it down your esophagus.
Ted : I think you proved at Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool party that that doesn't solve anything.
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Ted : Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Teensy snafus? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story!