- Dr. Cox: Don't tell me - you and Sweaty Teddy here are gonna finally have that commitment ceremony you've been dreaming about?
- Dr. Kelso: Perry, even if I went that way - and believe me, there were nights in the service when it didn't sound so far-fetched - Ted is hardly my type.
- Ted Buckland: I beg to differ, I've seen Enid.
- J.D.: Well, as you may have heard from the loudspeaker, some residents, the janitor, my mother, your mother, and a coma patient, um, I'm being referred to as the "co-" chief resident. I think we should either both go with "co-chief" or "chief." Don't you... co-agree?
- Lonnie: Excuse me. We're working up this patient for a hypercoagulable state with a prolonged PTT? What's our next step?
- J.D.: Well, that's easy, Lonnie, what you want to do...
- Lonnie: 'd like my answer from the *chief* resident.
- Dr. Cox: You know what? I've got a son, I don't fantasize about Jordan dying as much anymore, and, even though it wasn't planned, I'm actually pretty happy about the way this whole marriage thing has worked out. Sooo, would you please stop your chirping and step away from my personal life?
- Dr. Clock: So what's his wife like?
- Carla: So scary!
- Dr. Cox: Yeah, I make it a point to never enter a shrink's office unless I'm planning on grossly overpaying somebody for telling me something that I already know.
- Dr. Clock: Look, you're obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage...
- Dr. Cox: Something I already know, what do I owe? Will ten bucks cover it?
- Dr. Clock: Dr Cox, I was wondering if we could talk about Miss Myers in my office.
- Dr. Cox: Yeah... I make it a point to never enter a shrink's office unless I'm planning on grossly over-paying somebody for telling me something that I already know.
- Dr. Clock: Look, you're obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage.
- Dr. Cox: Something I already know. What do I owe? Will ten bucks cover it?
- Dr. Clock: Ah, yeah!
- [takes the money]
- Dr. Cox: Are you gonna hang onto that?
- Dr. Clock: Yeah... you know, I forgot my lunch money, and it's kielbasa day in the cafeteria. Kielbasa!
- Dr. Cox: [nervously] Ah ah...
- Dr. Clock: Love it. Anyway, Miss Myers really values your opinion, but I don't think you're trying to understand how she feels.
- Dr. Cox: Look, if I ever want your advice on one of my patients, I'll ask; but do not hold your breath unless, of course, you can hold it for a really long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.
- Dr. Clock: I can, I used to smoke.
- [Cox leaves, Clock stands up in the hall and smiles]
- Dr. Clock: Kielbasa... yes!
- Dr. Clock: Obviously for your ex-wife, just the illusion of hair is important.
- [She notices Dr. Cox]
- Dr. Clock: Excuse me.
- [Walks away]
- Ted Buckland: So you're saying it had nothing to do with my impotence?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [after Elliott removes a sign with her fingers that he couldn't with a crowbar] She has fingers like biceps.