Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Bookstore (1998)
Jason Alexander: George Costanza
Photos
Quotes
-
Crichton : Excuse me, sir, what are you doing?
George Costanza : [glances at the bathroom door] I'm all set.
Crichton : Did you take that book with you into the bathroom?
[pause]
George Costanza : What do you want to hear?
-
George Costanza : They made me buy it... A hundred bucks this thing cost me.
[George gestures to the book]
George Costanza : How dare they? I got news for you, if it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books.
Jerry Seinfeld : [Sarcastically] Yeah. I understand Guttenberg used to spend a lot of time in there.
George Costanza : They're selling coffee, bran muffins... you're surrounded by reading material... It's entrapment!
Jerry Seinfeld : [Reading the cover of the book George was forced to buy] 'French Impressionist Paintings'?
George Costanza : I find the soothing pastoral images very conduc...
Jerry Seinfeld : [Cutting him off] Thank you very much.
-
Rebecca DeMornay : Oh, wait a second. This book has been in the bathroom.
George Costanza : Wh-what are you talking about? That... that's ridiculous.
Rebecca DeMornay : It's been flagged. I know. I used to work in a Brentano's... Mister, we're trying to help the homeless here. It's bad enough that we have some nut out there trying to strap 'em to a rickshaw!
George Costanza : Alright... I, I'll just take fifty. Do... do we have a deal?
Rebecca DeMornay : Yeah, and here it is: You get your toilet book out of here, and I won't jump over this counter and punch you in the brain!
George Costanza : I could take it in merchandise.
Rebecca DeMornay : [Threateningly] Here I come.
[George immediately grabs the book and exits]
-
Jerry Seinfeld : [as Elaine walks up, disheveled] Sleeping in the car again?
Elaine Benes : Cocktail flu.
Jerry Seinfeld : [Remembering] Oh, right. The big party...
George Costanza : You, uh, didn't dance again, did you?
Elaine Benes : No, I found a better way to humiliate myself. There was this guy, and we had a few too many...
George Costanza : You went home with him?
Elaine Benes : Worse. We made out at the table like our plane was going down!
Jerry Seinfeld : [Rubbing it in] Ah, the drunken make-out. An office classic. Did you end up xeroxing anything?
Elaine Benes : [Gives Jerry a look] Do you know how embarrassing this is to someone in my position?
Jerry Seinfeld : What's your position?
Elaine Benes : *I* am an *associate*.
George Costanza : Hey, me too.
[Waitress walks up]
Waitress : Yeah, me too.
Elaine Benes : Oh God. Why did I do this? Now I'm the office skank.
George Costanza : Well, unless you tell everybody you're dating.
Elaine Benes : Ooh... right. 'Cause if we're dating, what everyone saw was just a beautiful moment between two lovers.
Jerry Seinfeld : As opposed to a spirited bout of Skanko-Roman wrestling.
Elaine Benes : Ooh, bravo.