- David Puddy: [pounds the hood of a taxi that almost struck him] Hey, what are you doing? Watch where you're driving, man!
- David Puddy: [approaches the passenger side window] Don't mess with the Devils, buddy. We're number one, we beat anybody! We're the Devils! The Devils! Haaaa!
- [Puddy runs away, leaving Father Hernandez in shock at the sight of him in face paint]
- Father Hernandez: [in Spanish] Mi dios, el diablo
- Cosmo Kramer: Aren't you a part of society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't you just get in your car and move to the east side!
- Elaine Benes: What the?
- David Puddy: So what do you think?
- Elaine Benes: [in disbelief] You painted your face?
- David Puddy: Yeah!
- Elaine Benes: Why?
- David Puddy: You know, support the team.
- Elaine Benes: Well, you can't walk around like that.
- David Puddy: Why not?
- Elaine Benes: Because it's insane
- David Puddy: Hey, you gotta let them know you're out there, this is the playoffs.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Do you know how fast these things deteriorate when there's an 'I love you' out of the bag? You can't have a relationship where one person says 'I *love* you' and the other one says 'I"m *hungry*. Let's get something to eat'.
- George Costanza: Unless you're married.
- Jerry Seinfeld: I mean now she thinks I'm one of these guys that loves her. No one wants to be with somebody that loves them.
- George Costanza: No. People *hate* that.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You want to be with somebody that doesn't like you.
- George Costanza: Ideally.
- George Costanza: Well, I am never saying 'I love you' again, unless they say it first.
- Waitress: Matzoh ball soup?
- George Costanza: That would be me.
- George Costanza: I saw Sienna again.
- Elaine Benes: Sienna?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah, he's dating a crayon.
- George Costanza: I might... tell her that I love her. I came this close last night and then I just chickened out.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Well, that's a big move, Georgie boy. Are you confident in the 'I love you' return?
- George Costanza: Fifty-fifty.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Cause if you don't get that return, that's a pretty big matzoh ball hanging out there.
- David Puddy: [shouting at the players by the glass] You're dead, Messier! We're gonna get you, Messier!
- Fan #1: Will you sit down?
- David Puddy: Hey man, I'm just trying to support the team.
- Elaine Benes: Will you sit down? You're disturbing everybody. Sit down!
- David Puddy: Oh yeah, because you're a Ranger fan and you know I'm messing with their heads.
- [New Jersey scores and David stands back up and pounds on the glass]
- Elaine Benes: Dave, um, painted his face.
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, that's cool. Well, you gotta support your team.
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Monkeys are really the end of the line in the pet world. I think when you're at the monkey level of pet ownership, have a kid. I mean, come on. I mean, you're so close. If you need a pet that can roller skate and smoke cigars, it's time to think about a family. Monkeys, of course, were the first astronauts in the '60s, which, I'm sure, made perfect sense in the monkey brain. "I feel that is the next logical step for me because I've been workin' with the Italian guy and the crank organ, and I think I'm ready to handle the maximum reentry G-forces."