Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Lip Reader (1993)
Jason Alexander: George Costanza
Photos
Quotes
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Gwen : [breaking up with George] It's not *you*. It's me.
George Costanza : You're giving me the "it's not you, its me" routine? I *invented* "it's not you, it's me". Nobody tells me "it's not them it's me". If it's anybody, it's me!
Gwen : All right. George, it's you.
George Costanza : You're *damn* right it's me.
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Jerry Seinfeld : [discussing why George was dumped] So she sees you with hot fudge on your face, and she ends it? Do you really think she would be that superficial?
George Costanza : Why not? I would be.
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George Costanza : All right. All right. What, what are they saying?
[the gang eavesdrops on Gwen and Todd's conversation with Laura watching, reading their lips, signs, and Kramer translating her sign language]
Kramer : [translating] Hi, Gwen. High tide.
Jerry Seinfeld : High tide?
Kramer : Hi Todd.
[translating]
Kramer : You got something in between your teeth.
George Costanza : Where?
Kramer : No, that's what he said.
[translating]
Kramer : That's interesting. I love carrots, but I hate carrot soup. And I hate peas, but I love pea soup.
[to George]
Kramer : So do I, huh?
Elaine Benes : [to Jerry] So wild! Can I borrow her for a few hours tomorrow afternoon?
Jerry Seinfeld : No, if I lend her to you, I have to lend her to everybody.
Gwen : I don't envy you, Todd. This place is gonna be a mess.
Todd : Well, maybe you can stick around after everybody leaves and we can sweep together.
Kramer : [translating] Why don't stick around and we could *sleep* together?
George Costanza : [shocked] What?
Kramer : [translating] You want me to sleep with you?
Todd : I don't wanna sweep alone.
Kramer : [translating] He says, "I don't wanna sleep alone." And she says, "Oh, boy. Love to."
George Costanza : [becoming mad] All right. That's it.
[walks over to them]
George Costanza : So, you get rid of me and now the two of you are gonna sleep together?
Gwen : What? You're crazy!
Kramer : [while translating to Jerry and Elaine] What? You're crazy.
George Costanza : I heard your whole conversation.
Gwen : How?
[George looks the other way as Laura signs it]
Kramer : [translates] How?
George Costanza : I can read lips. You said, "let's sleep together."
Gwen : No, I didn't! I said "sweep." Let's sweep together, you know, like with a
[while Kramer translates it to Jerry and Elaine]
Gwen : broom, cleaning up?
George Costanza : Sweep?