The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart's Girlfriend (1994)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bart Simpson : There's only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!

  [he walks down the street, while "Stayin' Alive" plays] 

• Reverand Lovejoy : [throws Bart out]  Don't you ever come near my daughter again! Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word "butt"!

  Bart Simpson : [pleading]  But-but-but, but-but-but...

  Helen Lovejoy : [covering her ears]  Make him stop! Make him stop!

• Helen Lovejoy : So, Bart. How's school going? Jessica always gets straight A's.

  Bart Simpson : Well, in my family grades aren't that important. It's what you *learn* that counts.

  Reverand Lovejoy : Six times five. What is it?

  Bart Simpson : Um. Actually numbers don't have much use in my future career. Olympic gold medal rocketsled champ!

  Helen Lovejoy : Hmm, I didn't know the rocketsled was an Olympic event.

  Bart Simpson : Well, no offense lady but what you don't know could fill a warehouse.

• Bart Simpson : And her hair smells like red Froot Loops.

  Lisa Simpson : Yeah, well I eat Froot Loops for breakfast!

• Bart Simpson : Hi. I'm Bart Simpson. I was incredibly moved by your reading. I don't think God's words have ever sounded so plausible.

  Jessica Lovejoy : Thanks... Art. Um, I have to go over here now.

  [she turns away from Bart and awkwardly faces the other direction] 

• Lisa Simpson : Don't be so hard on yourself, Bart. It's not your fault Jessica doesn't like you.

  Bart Simpson : Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes day in day out for the last four years?

  Lisa Simpson : No, Bart. I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She's a sweet, kind reverend's daughter and you're the devil's cabana boy.

• Bart Simpson : Smart, beautiful and a liar.

  Bart Simpson : So much better than that Sarah, Plain and Tall

• Homer : Son if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money that's all I need.

  Bart Simpson : I didn't take it.

  Homer : Why you little..! How can you look at me in the eye and lie like that?

  Marge : Homer stop that!

• Lisa Simpson : I can't believe it Bart. I'd always thought Jessica was so sweet.

  Bart Simpson : She's like a milk dud Lis. Sweet on the outside poison on the inside.

  Lisa Simpson : You gotta give her up.

  Bart Simpson : No no wait. Hear my plan. Put up with her for seven more years. Then we'll get married. Once the first baby comes along she's bound to settle down and start treating me right. After all I deserve it.

  Lisa Simpson : Bart it's naive to think you can change a person. Except maybe that boy who works in the library.