- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- Homer Simpson: No.
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- Homer Simpson: No.
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- Homer Simpson: No!
- [series of dissolves, showing this continuing, ad infinitum, until Homer and Marge are in bed]
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- Homer Simpson: NO! NO! NO!
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us-?
- Homer Simpson: IF I TAKE YOU, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND QUIT BUGGING ME?
- Bart Simpson: Yeah!
- Lisa Simpson: Of course!
- Bart Simpson: Well?
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- Homer Simpson: Yes!
- Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson: Thanks, Dad!
- Montgomery Burns: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers.
- Waylon Smithers: Somebody down here likes you, too, sir.
- Montgomery Burns: Shut up!
- Homer Simpson: [moans] Why did I have to start my diet on pork chop night?
- Marge Simpson: Homer, we've got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you.
- Homer Simpson: [shudders and picks up a rice cake] Wait, I've been setting my drinks on these things!
- Marge Simpson: They're only thirty-five calories apiece.
- Homer Simpson: [bites it, then cups a hand towards it] Hello? Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?
- Bart Simpson: [sees the line] Ay carumba! Okay, Lis, turn on the waterworks, babe.
- Lisa Simpson: [starts crying] Mommy! I want my mommy!
- [using Lisa, Bart shoulders his way through the line]
- Montgomery Burns: You're pleased with your current appearance? Hu, hu, hu, hu, hu, ahhh, why my good man, you're the fattest thing I've ever seen and I've been on safari.
- [laughing with Smithers]
- Ringo Starr: Dear Marge, thanks for the fab painting of yours truly. I hung it on me wall. You're quite an artist. In answer to your question, yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England, but we call french fries 'chips.' Love, Ringo.
- Krusty the Clown: [on his TV show] So come to Mount Splashmore! I told them you would! Don't make me a liar! Let's all sing the Mount Splashmore song! I wanna go to Mount Splashmore... Take me, take me, take me there right now! Now, now, now, now, now!
- Lisa Simpson: This is a rather shameless promotion.
- Bart Simpson: Hey, it worked on me.
- Lisa Simpson: Me, too.
- Montgomery Burns: Beatles, eh? Oh yes, I seem to remember their off-key caterwauling on the old Sullivan show. What was Ed thinking?
- Bart Simpson: Hey, mom, did he have those spots all over his body?
- [after Marge sees Mr. Burns naked]
- Montgomery Burns: I heard that!
- [breifly opening the bathroom door]
- Professor Lombardo: You have real talent.
- Marge Simpson: Do you really think so? My high school art teacher hated me.
- Professor Lombardo: What? The man was a fool! Still, one must admire the force of his conviction.
- [Homer arrives at the slide but sees that there's a very long queue]
- Homer Simpson: To hell with this!
- [pushes through the queue]
- Homer Simpson: Slide Inspector coming through! Move to the right! Hey! Out of the way! I'm here for your safety!
- Lady in line: God bless that man.
- Montgomery Burns: So let me get this straight you are pleased with your current appearance? my good man you're the fattest thing I've ever seen and I've been on safari.