The Simpsons (TV Series)

Half-Decent Proposal (2002)

Jon Lovitz: Artie Ziff

Quotes 

• Artie Ziff : [on a device to help Marge sleep]  He's a loser Marge... dump him!

  [sings] 

  Artie Ziff : Yeah, I traveled the world and the seven seas... I am watching you through a camera!

• Artie Ziff : Tell me, Homer, what's it like being married to Marge?

  Homer Simpson : It's like being married to your best friend - who lets you touch her boobies!

• Homer Simpson : Okay, Artie, you get her for the weekend - but no funny stuff. And by "funny stuff" I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo - which is pretty much any John Woo film...

  Artie Ziff : Your wife's virtue shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.