The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer the Moe (2001)

Hank Azaria: Humungous, Moe Szyslak, Carl, Formico, Robot, Man #3

Quotes 

• Moe : It's like my dad always said: eventually, everybody gets shot.

• Moe : You can't run a bar in your garage, it's illegal.

  Homer : Bar? This isn't a bar. This is a hunting club.

  Michael Stipe : You lied to us.

  [Michael Stipe smashes a beer bottle and tries to attack Homer] 

  Peter Buck : Michael, no.

  Mike Mills : It's not the R.E.M. way.

  Michael Stipe : You're right. Come on, let's recycle these shards and get out of here.

• Model #2 : After Chernobyl, my penis... is falling off.

  Moe : And penis is Russian for...?

• Homer : Jeez, Moe you've been a real crank lately.

  Moe : [points shotgun in Homer's face]  You take that BACK!

• [At Moe's alma mater, the bartending college] 

  Professor : Moe Szyslak, you old glass wipe.

• Moe : I'm burned out on bartending. When I first saw the movie Ironweed I thought "this is for me"! But now, well.. I'm not so sure.