- Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding...
- [Homer is a limo driver]
- Homer: Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me.
- Mel Brooks: Umm, thanks.
- Homer: Marge, we had an agreement. Your sisters don't come here after six, and I stop eating your lipstick.
- [quickly turns away and wipes lipstick from his teeth]
- Marge: Homer, are we in some sort of fiduciary trouble?
- Homer: [imagines Marge as a queen] Oh, Marge, my loyal wife... of course not.
- [Lisa walks by the room, he imagines her as a princess]
- Homer: And Lisa, my little princess.
- [Bart walks by, he imagines him as a human-rat hybrid]
- Homer: And who could forget dear Ratboy?
- Bart: Ratboy? I resent that!
- [chomps on bedroom entrance]
- Marge: Bart, I told you before - stop gnawing on the drywall.
- Mel Brooks: [Seeing Homer freak out after being pulled over] Sir, could you give me a ride? This man's making me a little edgy.
- Chief Wiggum: Hey, you're Mel Brooks! Sure, I'll give you a ride. On the way, we can do that $2,000 Man Thing. You be you, and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum.
- Mel Brooks: Listen, why don't you be Carl Reiner, and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum? I hate Carl Reiner!
- [Homer has asked Moe for a loan]
- Moe: Sure, Homer, I can loan you the money. However, since you have no collateral, I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.
- Homer: Gee, Moe, that seems a bit extreme. Couldn't you just bash my brains in?
- Moe: Are you a loan shark? Do you understand how finance works?
- [Pulls out a sledgehammer]
- Moe: Now, let's do this thing.
- Homer: Oh, I'll never pay off that debt!
- TV Commercial: Need money fast? Got no experience? Step up to elegance! Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's.
- Homer: That's it! I'll make money with a chauffeur job. Good thing you turned on that TV, Lisa.
- Lisa: I didn't turn it on. I thought you turned it on.
- Homer: Oh. Well anyway, turn it off.
- Lisa: [Looks at the TV] ... It *is* off!
- [ominous music plays]
- Bart: See that? I started to do, like, a little arabesque, but then I just fully went for it and pulled off the demi-entrechat. Not that I'm into that kind of thing...
- [drinks a Tab]
- Ballet Teacher: Bravissimo, Bart! Next week, class gives its first recital, and you, you will dance the male lead!
- Bart: Dance in front of the whole school? What is it with you and ballet?
- Ballet Teacher: I have known you have great conflict, Bart: you love ballet, yet you fear the boys will laugh at you, no?
- Bart: No, I fear the girls will laugh at me. I fear the boys will beat the living snot out of me.
- Bart: See that? I started to do, like, a little arabesque, but then I just fully went for it and pulled off the demi-entrechat. Not that I'm into that kind of thing...
- [drinks a Tab]
- Ballet Teacher: Bravissimo, Bart! Next week, class gives its first recital, and you, you will dance the male lead!
- Bart: Dance in front of the whole school? What is it with you and ballet?
- Ballet Teacher: I know you have great conflict, Bart: you love ballet, yet you fear the boys will laugh at you, no?
- Bart: No, I fear the girls will laugh at me. I fear the boys will beat the living snot out of me.
- Homer: Hey, let's do that 2,000 Pound Man Thing! I'll be Carl Reiner, and you be what's-his-face.
- Mel Brooks: Homer, it's not that simple. It takes the genius and timing of Carl Reiner to... .
- Homer: [Interrupting] Sir, today every country has a national anthem. Did they have national anthems in your day?
- Mel Brooks: Sure, sure we did! But back then it was just caves. I'll never forget my cave's national anthem.
- Homer: What was that?
- Mel Brooks: "Let'em all go to Hell, except Cave 76!"