The Simpsons (TV Series)
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge (2000)
Parker Posey: Becky
Photos
Quotes
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Becky : I hope we didn't scare you, Marge. Bart's just filming a music video for his class project.
Lisa : And I'm directing the "making-of" video.
Marge : Oh... well, then, I guess there's a reasonable explanation for everything, except you cutting my brakes.
Homer : Oh, about that. Uh, when I changed your oil, I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad.
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Bart : [eating dinner] Mom, this gravy tastes better than God's sweat.
Marge : Thanks to our own spice girl, Becky.
Lisa : Well, Mom, you really brought out the mung in these beans.
Marge : Actually, that was Becky, too.
Homer : What are these things in the mashed potatoes?
Becky : That's the skins. I left them on.
Marge : Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.
Homer : [covering his plate protectively] No!
[eating more, lustfully]
Homer : Oh, Becky. Your potatoes are the best I've ever had. Oh, God.
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Becky : Otto?
Otto : [playing Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", he offers her a skull-shaped ring] Becky... you're my rose. Will you let me be your thorn?
Becky : Oh, Otto, of course my answer is...
Becky : [turning the volume up] Ooh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This solo is kick-ass!
Becky : Honey, could you turn it down?
Otto : Okay, but this better be worth it.
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Marge : [Becky finishes putting on her wedding dress] Oh, Becky, you look beautiful. I thought you might want to see this bridal magazine. It's got 900 tips for the perfect marriage. All "don'ts."
Becky : Oh, we'll be fine. Otto's got a clean police record and he doesn't do any needle drugs.
Marge : Well, the real key, according to sexperts, is mutual interests.
Becky : No prob. We like all the same things. Except...
Marge : Mm-hmm?
Becky : Don't tell Otto, but I'm not into heavy metal, and he loves it. He refers to our lovemaking as the headbanger's ball.
Marge : Oh, you can fix little defects like that with gentle nagging. Make it part of the background noise of your relationship. That's how I polished Homer into the perfect...
[looking out the window, she sees Homer with his tongue stuck to a block of ice shaped like a heart]
Marge : Homer! No! That's ice!
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Lisa : We're jamming, Mom. She's painting my music, and I'm playing to her painting. Isn't it wonderful to have a hip female influence in the house?
Marge : Yes. Well, I guess I'll go roll the socks. It's not hip, but it has to be done.
Becky : Actually, you could just tie them at the ends. That way, the elastic doesn't wear out.
Marge : Yes, I hate when things get worn out. Mmm. Socks, welcomes...
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Marge : Stop kicking my baby!
Becky : Oh, it's cool. We're just putting some Jackie Chan moves into Bart's video project.
Bart : Yeah, Mom, I need something great. Milhouse has footage of himself falling down the stairs.
Marge : Well, no kicking. It's too dangerous.
Becky : Marge, chill out. I have great control. See?
[she demonstrates]
Marge : That's very impressive, but I still don't...
[Becky continues kicking at her]
Marge : Stop that!
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Becky : You expect me to walk down the aisle to a monster ballad?
Marge : Let me talk to Otto.
Becky : Oh, that's okay. I guess this is sort of... our song.
Marge : Well, it doesn't have to be. Otto's just going to have to decide what's more important, his heavy metal or you.
[a few minutes later, Otto drives off with the band in his bus]
Marge : Becky, what have I done here? I'm so sorry.
Homer : [whispering] In about 15 minutes, I'd take off that wedding dress or you're gonna look crazy.
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Lisa : Oh, I really miss Mom.
Bart : The kids are saying if you say "Bloody Margie" five times, she'll appear, but then she gouges your eyes out.
Homer : I hear she mates with men, then eats them.
Becky : I'm sure if Marge were here and not crazy, she'd be telling you two
[Bart and Lisa]
Becky : to do your homework and you
[Homer]
Becky : to finish washing the dog.
[next to the couch, Santa's Little Helper stands there with half his body clean and the other half still covered in mud]
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Marge : Becky, I'm so sorry I accused you of trying to kill me and steal my family.
Becky : Hey, no biggie. I was trying to steal your family. I even thought of a good place to bury you. But then I didn't have a shovel, so I went to the hardware store and they have six different kinds, and I was like, "Later."
Marge : Well, that's a relief, too, knowing I'm not crazy. So, I guess everything really worked out for the...
Bart : [three darts are shot into her neck, and she falls to the ground] Mom!
Homer : [seeing it's the mental hospital psychologist and two orderlies] You monsters! You killed her!
Marge : [getting to her feet] No, they didn't.
Psychologist #1 : Good Lord! We put enough tranquilizers in there to take down Jonathan Winters.
Marge : Oh, I've got too much to do to take a nap right now. Lisa, get Maggie out of that cage. And, Homer, since you're dressed for it, I got some "S&M" for ya, scrubbing and mopping.
[as she laughs, another dart is shot into her neck]
Homer : [handing the blowgun back] Thank you.
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Homer : [Becky announces she's moving out] Becky, I think I speak for all of us when I say... when's the ice cream gonna get here?
Squeaky-Voiced Teen : [thunder crashes and the lights go dark] And God say gather ye two of every flavor, anoint them with 62 sauces, whipped cream, and nuts, and ye shall call it... "The Ark".
[a canoe-sized bowl of ice cream is carried out to their table; panting in excitement, Homer's face falls into it]
Becky : Homer!
Bart : Relax, he's gorging.
[waiting for Homer to move]
Bart : Okay, maybe not.
Becky : [pulling him out] We've got to save him!
[she starts mouth-to-mouth resuscitation; coming in and misunderstanding the context, Marge screams]
Marge : Usurper! Usurper! Usurper!
