The Simpsons (TV Series)

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge (2000)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• Becky : I hope we didn't scare you, Marge. Bart's just filming a music video for his class project.

  Lisa : And I'm directing the "making-of" video.

  Marge : Oh... well, then, I guess there's a reasonable explanation for everything, except you cutting my brakes.

  Homer : Oh, about that. Uh, when I changed your oil, I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad.

• Lisa : Poor little Maggie. How many mental competency hearings have you been to in your short life?

• Bart : [waving a camcorder around on the bus]  Tonight on the Discovery Channel; Inside Lisa's Nose. What will we find, boogers or Nazi gold?

  Lisa : Bart, quit it!

  Bart : No way.

  Lisa : Bart sleeps with Raggedy Andy!

  Bart : Cut, cut, cut!

• Bart : [eating dinner]  Mom, this gravy tastes better than God's sweat.

  Marge : Thanks to our own spice girl, Becky.

  Lisa : Well, Mom, you really brought out the mung in these beans.

  Marge : Actually, that was Becky, too.

  Homer : What are these things in the mashed potatoes?

  Becky : That's the skins. I left them on.

  Marge : Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.

  Homer : [covering his plate protectively]  No!

  [eating more, lustfully] 

  Homer : Oh, Becky. Your potatoes are the best I've ever had. Oh, God.

• Marge : Let's see. Candles, flowers, place cards, rice...

  Lisa : Oh, Mom, you're not supposed to throw rice anymore. Birds eat it, their stomachs swell, and they explode.

  Bart : Why am I just learning this now?

  [grabbing a box of rice and his video camera, he runs outside] 

• Lisa : We're jamming, Mom. She's painting my music, and I'm playing to her painting. Isn't it wonderful to have a hip female influence in the house?

  Marge : Yes. Well, I guess I'll go roll the socks. It's not hip, but it has to be done.

  Becky : Actually, you could just tie them at the ends. That way, the elastic doesn't wear out.

  Marge : Yes, I hate when things get worn out. Mmm. Socks, welcomes...

• Selma Bouvier : Always a bridesmaid. Only occasionally a bride.

  Patty Bouvier : Lisa, it's time you learned the truth about men.

  Lisa : They're pigs?

  Patty Bouvier : The bitterness is strong in this one.

• Lisa : Moe, can I give you some shrimp for the road?

  Moe Szyslak : Nah, I'll just take the ring pillow... and these, uh, seven presents I brung. Ah, you know what? Cram some shrimp in, too.

  [opening his mouth for her] 

  Moe Szyslak : Head to tail. That way you can fit more.

  [she adds more] 

  Moe Szyslak : How about some sauce?

  [she pours some sauce into his mouth, too] 

  Moe Szyslak : Thanks.

• Kent Brockman : Police say escaped mental patient Marge Simpson could be anywhere, even here at Juggernauts, where it's wet t-shirt month.

  [the waitresses around him cheer] 

  Kent Brockman : But for now, this reporter prays that "Mad Marge" can be captured before she kills again.

  Bart : [watching on TV]  Kills again? She hasn't killed once.

  Lisa : Shouldn't we be out there trying to find her?

  Homer : Don't worry, she'll show up here sooner or later to finish off Becky. Then we'll have Mommy back.

• Lisa : Oh, I really miss Mom.

  Bart : The kids are saying if you say "Bloody Margie" five times, she'll appear, but then she gouges your eyes out.

  Homer : I hear she mates with men, then eats them.

  Becky : I'm sure if Marge were here and not crazy, she'd be telling you two

  [Bart and Lisa] 

  Becky : to do your homework and you

  [Homer] 

  Becky : to finish washing the dog.

  [next to the couch, Santa's Little Helper stands there with half his body clean and the other half still covered in mud]