The Simpsons (TV Series)
King Size Homer (1995)
Harry Shearer: Waylon Smithers, Montgomery Burns, Lenny, Dr. Hibbert, Weight Gain Store Clerk, Ned Flanders, Vast Waistband Clerk, TV Announcer, Ice Cream Man, Worker #2
Quotes
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[first lines]
[Smithers raps on the men's room door at the power plant]
Smithers : Come on, Simpson! Open up, we know you're in there!
[no answer; Smithers motions to two goons, who break the door down; the bathroom is apparently empty, but Smithers looks carefully, and points to a stall]
Smithers : Hmm... that one.
[the goons kick open the stall, revealing Homer standing in the toilet bowl]
Homer Simpson : Someone's in here!
[as the goons drag him out]
Homer Simpson : NO! NOOOOOO! AH! NO! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF...! NOOOOO!
Smithers : Boy, I never saw a man so desperate to get out of five minutes of calisthenics.
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Mr. Burns : [Trying to get a 300-lb. Homer to do sit-ups to lose weight] One... one... one! Bah! I'll just pay for the blasted liposuction!
Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo!
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Mr. Burns : Not now. There's enough time for the frozen pudding wagon later.
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[Homer's computer is flashing the words "explosion imminent"]
Homer Simpson : "Explosion imminent?"
[scrolls back through text, sees gas wasn't vented]
Homer Simpson : Oh my God! The plant's gonna explode!
[at the nuclear power plant, where Lenny and Carl are walking past the rumbling tank]
Carl : Hey, that thing's going kaka cuckoo.
Lenny : Who cares? It's Homer's problem.
Homer Simpson : Wait, I know:
[types]
Homer Simpson : vent gas.
[reads screen]
Homer Simpson : "Pressure too high?" "Tank must be shut down manually?"
[to drinking bird]
Homer Simpson : Oh, stupid bird! I never should have put you in charge!
[he briefly yanks it]
Homer Simpson : Oh, who am I kidding? This is all my fault!
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Mr. Burns : [leading the employee calisthenics program] Raise your left hock! Aerate! Raise your right hock! Aerate! Let's go! I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts, and less Franklin Roosevelts!
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Salesman at The Vast Waistband : Many of our clients find pants confining, so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman; ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits, unisheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.
Homer Simpson : I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with the muumuu.