The Simpsons (TV Series)

Lard of the Dance (1998)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Database

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : Okay, boy. This is where all the hard work, sacrifice, and painful scaldings pay off.

  Employee : Four pounds of grease... that comes to... sixty-three cents.

  Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo!

  Bart Simpson : Dad, all that bacon cost twenty-seven dollars.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, but your mom paid for that!

  Bart Simpson : But doesn't she get her money from you?

  Homer Simpson : And I get my money from grease! What's the problem?

• Nelson Muntz : [talking to a group of kids]  The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.

  [Skinner walks by] 

  Nelson Muntz : Uh, um... uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!

  [Skinner nods and walks off] 

  Nelson Muntz : Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner's sugar.

• Homer Simpson : All right, son. We're about to embark on our most difficult mission. Let's bow our heads in prayer. Dear Lord, I know you're busy, seeing as how you can watch women changing clothes and stuff. But if you help us steal this grease tonight, I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity.

  Bart Simpson : Dad, He's not stupid.

  Homer Simpson : All right, screw it, let's roll!

• Nelson Muntz : [holds a lump of grease in his hand, ready to throw it]  Here comes a greaseball!

  Luigi : [entering from behind]  Hey! Luigi bring-a you kids-a free pizza. Why you have to make-a the fun, huh?

• Bart Simpson : Mom's gonna kill you

  Homer Simpson : If she didn't want her car ruined, she should have done a better job hiding her keys.

• Homer Simpson : [after sneaking into the elementary school]  So, is this your school?

  Bart Simpson : It used to be.

• [the air vent starts spreading grease from the ceiling] 

  Martin Prince : Look, it's snowing!

  Ralph Wiggum : [after a grease snowflake fell on his tongue]  The snowflake tastes like fishstick!