The Simpsons (TV Series)

Lisa the Iconoclast (1996)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• [George Washington appears in Lisa's dream, urging her to reveal the truth about the town's founder. Lisa wakes up yelling] 

  Lisa : Oh, let me help you, George Washington! I still want to help you!

  Bart : [walking by her room]  "I want to help you... George Washington"?

  [scoffs] 

  Bart : Even your dreams are square.

• Lisa : How about town crier? You'd be great at that.

  Homer : You think so?

  Bart : Well, yeah, dad, you're a big fat loud-mouth, and you can walk when you have to.

• Moe Szyslak : Awww, the little cutie wants to do something cute.

  Barney Gumble : Oh...

  Moe Szyslak : Shut up you bums! Shut up!

  [to the patrons] 

  Moe Szyslak : Go ahead, angel.

  Lisa : Jebediah Springfield was nothing more than an evil blood-thirsty pirate who hated this town!

  Moe Szyslak : Good God! Ah, Homer, you know I support, ah, most any prejudice you can name, but your hero phobia sickens me.

• Miss Hoover : Lisa, a-hem, for your essay... Jebediah Springfield: Super Fraud, F.

  Lisa : But it's all true.

  Miss Hoover : Agh, this is nothing more than dead white male bashing from a PC thug. It's women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband!

• Hollis Hurlbut : Why didn't you tell them?

  Lisa Simpson : Because the myth of Jebediah has value too. It's brought out the best in everyone in this town. Regardless of who said it, "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man".

• Lisa : I hope you know you're sponsoring a celebration for a murderous pirate.

  Long John Silver's Representative : A pirate? Well, that's hardly the image we want for Long John Silver's!

• Lisa : Jebediah Springfield was really a vicious pirate named Hans Sprungfeld. His tongue was bitten off by a Turk in a grog house fight.

  Homer : No tongue, eh? How did he talk and eat and laugh and love?

  Lisa : He had it replaced with a prosthetic tongue made out of silver.

  Homer : Yes, that'll do.