The Simpsons (TV Series)
My Mother the Carjacker (2003)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Gil, Blue-Haired Lawyer, Sideshow Mel, Grampa Simpson, Cop #1
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : [in the witness box] Now I'm not a man who's good with words...
[very long pause]
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Homer Simpson : Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
Marge : You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?
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Gil : Now Lisa, would you agree that your grandmother is a sweet, harmless woman who could hardly be considered a menace to society?
Lisa Simpson : If you ask me, she's less dangerous than Bart.
Bart Simpson : If it please the court, I would like to go ape on my sister.
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Homer Simpson : Mom, I swear on your eventual grave, I will never, ever let the police get their hands on you!
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Lisa Simpson : I say we hit them where they live. With a candlelight vigil.
Homer Simpson : Candlepin bowling? That's a great idea. We'll play right after I break your grandmother out of prison.
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Homer Simpson : I couldn't sleep because I thought there might be a sign of my mom in one of these articles. They never did find her body.
Bart Simpson : Then what was in the coffin?
Homer Simpson : Last week's garbage. I missed the pickup date.
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Homer Simpson : [to a sleeping Bart] Psst... hey pal. Hey buddy, wake up. Wanna go on an adventure with your old man?
Bart Simpson : No...
Homer Simpson : You have no choice.
[camera pulls back to reveal they're already driving in the car]
Homer Simpson : There's coffee in the thermos.
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Grampa : Mona, I'll always remember raspberry trolley cars, because my mind is shot.
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[Homer and Bart are changing messages on a highway warning sign. A message comes up: Stacey will you marry me?]
Homer Simpson : Awww.
[Next message: What do you mean 'no'?]
Homer Simpson : Haha! Loser!
[Third message: I hope your car blows up]
Homer Simpson : Geez, pal.