The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Trouble with Trillions (1998)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty, Myron, Barney, President Truman, Hitler, Castro
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : [Homer doing his taxes] Okay, Marge, if anyone asks: You require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.
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Homer Simpson : Marge, you wouldn't believe it! They sell shredded meat on the street corners!
Cuban Vendor Boy : Es Carne de Burro.
[translation: "It's Donkey Meat"]
Homer Simpson : It's nice to meet you.
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Homer Simpson : Does this make me look fat?
Lisa Simpson : No, it makes you look like a tool of government oppression.
Homer Simpson : But not fat?
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Fidel Castro : Ahhh, the Americans aren't so bad, they named a street after me in San Francisco.
[Aide whispers in his ear]
Fidel Castro : It's full of *what*?
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[last lines]
Mr. Burns : Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!
Homer Simpson : God bless America!
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Kent Brockman : Sir, uh, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Krusty the Clown : Because I'm an idiot! Happy?
Kent Brockman : [back to the camera] Of course not everyone is an idiot.
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Fidel Castro : Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon communism!
Castro's Aide , Castro's Associates : [sigh]
Fidel Castro : I know, I know, I know... but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly! I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Castro's Aide : But presidente, America tried to kill you!
Fidel Castro : Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco!
[Aide #2 whispers something into his ear]
Fidel Castro : It's full of what?
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Homer Simpson : [fleeing from the IRS with Mr. Burns] We'll hide out at my place. I've got beer.
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Fidel Castro : May I see?
[asking to see the trillion-dollar bill Mr. Burns has held out]
Mr. Burns : Oh ho ho ho, see with your eyes, not with your hands.
Fidel Castro : Please, we are all amigos here.
Homer : Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba.
Mr. Burns : Now give it back.
[Burns says nervously after a few seconds of letting Fidel hold the trillion-dollar bill]
Fidel Castro : Give what back?
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Mr. Burns : Will you at least permit us to live in your socialist paradise?
Fidel Castro : You talkin' about Cooba?
[pronouncing Cuba differently after going wide-eyed and surprise]
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Homer Simpson : [frantically trying to do his tax returns] Marge! How many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count I'll just estimate. Uh, nine!
Marge Simpson : Homer, you know we don't have..
Homer Simpson : Shut up, shut UP! If I don't hear you it's not illegal!