The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Trouble with Trillions (1998)
Harry Shearer: Ned Flanders, Dr. Hibbert, Principal Skinner, Kent Brockman, Lenny, Agent Johnson
Quotes
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Kent Brockman : Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Otto : Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?
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[last lines]
Mr. Burns : Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!
Homer Simpson : God bless America!
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Mr. Burns : [points to a display case] Oh, you'll find this amusing, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in.
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Kent Brockman : Sir, uh, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Krusty the Clown : Because I'm an idiot! Happy?
Kent Brockman : [back to the camera] Of course not everyone is an idiot.
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Mr. Burns : [Smithers, Burns and Homer are trying to find an island to start a new country on] Ohhh, there's a big one! And it has freedom written all over it!
Waylon Smithers : Sir... that's Cuba.
Mr. Burns : Cuba, eh? Take 'er down, Smithers.
Waylon Smithers : Uh, you're flying the plane, sir.
Mr. Burns : Excellent.
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Fidel Castro : May I see?
[asking to see the trillion-dollar bill Mr. Burns has held out]
Mr. Burns : Oh ho ho ho, see with your eyes, not with your hands.
Fidel Castro : Please, we are all amigos here.
Homer : Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba.
Mr. Burns : Now give it back.
[Burns says nervously after a few seconds of letting Fidel hold the trillion-dollar bill]
Fidel Castro : Give what back?
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Agent Johnson : We believe Burns still has that bill somewhere in his house. But all we've ascertained from satellite photos is that it's not on the roof.
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Mr. Burns : Will you at least permit us to live in your socialist paradise?
Fidel Castro : You talkin' about Cooba?
[pronouncing Cuba differently after going wide-eyed and surprise]
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Mr. Burns : Sorry about the landing, boys. This fog is so thick, I can't see my own cataracts.
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Mr. Burns : Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.