- Homer Simpson: [regarding him marrying Marge] But if I died, she'd be completely free. For man or machine.
- Pierce Brosnan House: [as Homer leaves] Machine, eh?
- Homer Simpson: [returns] Yup, a machine.
- [the Simpsons got a automatic house, that does everything for them]
- Marge: Ooh, look, we can choose its personality.
- [Clicks on Matthew Perry]
- House: Could I BE more of a house?
- [Homer is about to disable the Ultrabot CPU]
- Homer Simpson: I'm gonna enjoy this!
- Pierce Brosnan House: Don't take out my British charm unit! Without that, I'm nothing but a boorish American clod!
- [Homer removes the British charm unit]
- Pierce Brosnan House: Ah, thanks a lot, asswipe!
- [losing power]
- Pierce Brosnan House: I coulda kicked your butt from here to Albuquerque, you fat... slime... bucket.
- [voice dying]
- [to Bart, who has mis-cast a spell to change a frog into a prince]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Sloppy work, as usual. Lisa's casting spells at an eighth-grade level. You've sinned against nature.
- Pierce Brosnan House: Good morning, Marge.
- Marge: Good morning, Pierce.
- [notices Homer's side of the bed is empty]
- Marge: Where's Homer?
- Pierce Brosnan House: Uh... I think he went to work early.
- Marge: That sounds like a lie.
- [Marge gasps as she notices Homer's photo in the family portrait has been replaced by the computer lens and subtly reaches for the phone to dial 911]
- Marge: [quietly] Hello, police? I think my house killed my husband.
- Pierce Brosnan House: This is Constable Wiggums. We'll be right there. Remove your knickers and wait in the bath.
- [Turns Milhouse into a banana]
- Nelson Muntz: Stop zapping yourself!
- [Turns Milhouse into an ostrich]
- Nelson Muntz: Stop zapping yourself!
- [Turns Milhouse into Mr. T]
- Nelson Muntz: Stop zapping yourself!