The Six Million Dollar Man (TV Series)

The Seven Million Dollar Man (1974)

Monte Markham: Barney Miller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Miller : Did you really think that when the great Oscar Goldman pushed one of his little buttons and ordered up you, his brand new bionic gadget, did you really think he ordered only one of a kind?

  [pause] 

  Barney Miller : Wrong.

• Dr. Rudy Wells : [shouting]  This is lunacy!

  Barney Miller : [turns round in door opening]  You put me together, Rudy. The nuts, the bolts, the wires. Tell me, can the machine be more lunatic than those who created it?

• Barney Miller : Everytime it gets cold out, this arm starts creaking. Had it back at Doc Wells three times now.

• Col. Steve Austin : Relax, Barney. Like I said, you'll do fine.

  Barney Miller : Fine? Yeah, were both just fine. A couple of carefully engineered deadly weapons by Mr. Oscar Goldman out of Dr. Rudy Wells.

• Barney Miller : What did you cost?

  Col. Steve Austin : Six million.

  Barney Miller : Six?

  [taps chest] 

  Barney Miller : Seven.

  Col. Steve Austin : Well, old inflation gets us all.

• Barney Miller : [laughs]  Listen to the man, Rudy. Astronaut, world famous, authentic physical miracle. Probably still buys his wrist watches at the Air Force PX. Listen Stevie boy, when you got it, you don't flaunt it, man, you use it!

• Col. Steve Austin : Barney, the adrenaline's flowing, you're feeling good. Don't get carried away.

  Barney Miller : [raised voice]  Away! That rhymes with pay and that stands for... Oscar.

• Barney Miller : You know what's really driving me nuts?

  Col. Steve Austin : What?

  [knocks Steve down] 

  Barney Miller : You're what's driving me nuts, Stevie boy. Because you made it, and I can't.