The Sopranos (TV Series)
In Camelot (2004)
James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Jennifer Melfi : What was it like sitting sitting there with Fran?
Tony Soprano : It was a little weird at first. Here I am comforting my father's mistress, my mother's lyin' there dead.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Are you attracted to her?
Tony Soprano : Come on, she's old enough to be my mother.
[Dr. Melfi shrugs]
Tony Soprano : Oh, Jesus Christ, it's an expression. Don't cream yourself. I did not want to fuck my mother! You should have seen her in her housedress with that hairnet. This conversation would be over in two seconds.
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Fran Felstein : I was sorry to hear about your mother.
Tony Soprano : Least she didn't suffer.
[pause]
Tony Soprano : She made all of us suffer instead.
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Phil Leotardo : [During a sit-down] six hundred and twenty-five k for the track plus all that land, that's it?
Hesh : That was a zoning restriction: you're lucky we got a buyer at all
Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Here's what I propose: Tony gets one fifty, twenty-five percent comes from you, and the other seventy-five percent of that comes from Hesh
Phil Leotardo : Jesus Christ that's like forty grand, you've got to be kidding me John
Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Am I smiling?
Phil Leotardo : You got some balls kid. I'll give you that much
Tony Soprano : You'll give me what I tell you to give me
Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni : Whoa Tony
Silvio Dante : Take it easy, take it easy
Tony Soprano : Fuck that. This ain't the 70's, and I'm not a kid
Phil Leotardo : Relax, it's an expression
Tony Soprano : Well, here's another one expression. You got five days to give me my money
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Tony Soprano : [Referring to his father] I don't fuckin live with my mistress. I mean his fuckin slippers?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Go on
Tony Soprano : When I left there, I started thinking about it: when I was sixteen years old I came home from school and there was this note from my aunt Quinn. My mother became pregnant, another kid after my sister Barbra "change of life" baby they called it. She started bleeding and I was supposed to find my father and get him over there ASAP. I called every number I had. I left messages all over town then finally ten o'clock at night he called me back. He came and got me the next morning. We went to the hospital, walked into her room. She could've fuckin died from a miscarriage, fuck her
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Was there any blame on his part? This man you emulate? The lies? The betrayals with other women?
Tony Soprano : [Remains silent]
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Listen to me, this is very important, your mother had her faults but after all this time what should we do with this woman? Burn her at the stake? You need to forgive her and move on
Tony Soprano : [Realizes she's right by changing the subject] she made my father give my dog away
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I thought your father was a big tough guy?
Tony Soprano : He probably he didn't want to hear her bullshit anymore, gave my dog away to his girlfriend's kid, big fuckin deal, if it was up to her, she would've had it killed
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Dr. Harry Winer : It could've been another TIA, it's hard to tell, was any of this accompanied by a lapse in memory?
Janice Soprano : [after Janice and Tony shrug] I don't know
Dr. Harry Winer : [to Tony and Janice, referring to Junior] Had you brought him in right away, I'd might have more answers
Junior Soprano : That medicine stopped working, I took more and didn't do shit, I feel like the walking dead
Dr. Harry Winer : Medication sometimes is like cooking: we need to adjust the ingredients
Junior Soprano : Who gives a shit? I'm so fuckin blue
Tony Soprano : Well, what'd you expect? All you do is go to funerals all the time
Junior Soprano : I'm trapped, what's the point? God damn house arrest: my life is only death, I'm living in a grave. I beat prison and for what? I have no children, will somebody please explain this to me?
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Junior Soprano : Fran Felstein? That was classy
Tony Soprano : She had great legs for an old broad
Junior Soprano : I was in love with that woman: she was the reason I never married, I wanted to propose, I had the ring all picked out
Tony Soprano : So, what, she turned you down?
Junior Soprano : I hesitated, how could I bring this life we live on a woman? Anyway, she took it as a sign I wasn't interested and then one night we were all at the 500 club to see Enzo Stuarti, your father shows up, with size four suit with a two-inch lapel, and that was that. She never knew my feelings, what could I do? For years, I suffered in silence
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Tony Soprano : [referring to his father's former mistress] So I talked to her for like an hour, turns out her and my old man had a "thing", right up until he died. He got from her what he couldn't get at home, support, love, a smile when you walk through the fuckin door
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Do you think that justifies his infidelity?
Tony Soprano : She drove him into that woman's arms, my mother, to all his women. I'll tell you one thing: all the years he was rotten in that grave, I can't remember once my mother visiting him but this lady Fran...
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : [interrupts him] It's possible your mother found it very painful?
Tony Soprano : [sarcastically] Oh, poor her
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Tony Soprano : So, I saw my uncle Jun, he says hello
Fran Felstein : [surprised] Junior? Jesus, how's he doing?
Tony Soprano : I don't know if you know it, he was always a little hot for you
Fran Felstein : He was practically a stalker
Tony Soprano : He said he suffered in silence
Fran Felstein : [doubtful] Suffered in silence? He used to sulk outside my building at all hours: weird phone calls. I always had a hunch he'd tell Livia about me and Johnny
Tony Soprano : Jesus Christ
Fran Felstein : She was a handsome woman, your mother, not sexy exactly but statuesque
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Fran Felstein : Your father used to bring me flowers everyday flowers and lingerie. I'm making chicken: Cuban style with black beans
Tony Soprano : [after noticing a picture of a boy with a dog] Who's this?
Fran Felstein : [referring to the airline company] Oh, my son Bruce, he married an Israeli girl, he's a food service director for El Al
Tony Soprano : No, the dog
Fran Felstein : He was a gift from your dad
Tony Soprano : What, when?
Tony Soprano : [when suddenly occurring to him] Oh, this is my fuckin dog!
Tony Soprano : [becoming emotional] Excuse me, I'm sorry, this was my dog! His name was "Tippy"
Fran Felstein : Your dad never said that
Tony Soprano : I don't fuckin believe this: my mother made him give the dog away
Fran Felstein : [referring to euthanizing the pet] Bruce loved him. I mean... he had him for almost ten years, until he moved to Tel Aviv, then I had to put him to "sleep"
Fran Felstein : [shows him another picture of her] Us, outside the Laughing Quarter
Tony Soprano : [noticing the resemblance between his friend and the pianist, jokingly] Holy shit, look at Hesh, George Gershwin
Fran Felstein : He was a whoremaster and a cheat. You know he screwed me out of my retirement money? Against your dad's wishes by the way
Tony Soprano : What're you talking about?
Fran Felstein : Don't get me started
Tony Soprano : No, come on, what happened?
Fran Felstein : Your dad owned a racetrack with the midget auto racing
Tony Soprano : Yeah, the Chickamauga Racing in New Zealand
Fran Felstein : Him, Herman and some other guy "Phil... something", with the hair from New York
Tony Soprano : [remind her of Phil's surname] Leotardo, my father cut him in half over a poker debt
Fran Felstein : [referring to his share in the profits] Johnny always told me his "piece" would go to me and couldn't put me in his will, obviously. When your dad passed, I called Hesh, he sent me five hundred bucks
Tony Soprano : [surprised] That's it?
Fran Felstein : [before becoming upset] No
Tony Soprano : Jesus Christ, I wished you called me
Fran Felstein : Bruce sends me money occasionally
Tony Soprano : That's not the point: it's my father's wishes
Fran Felstein : Look, forget it. Seriously, I'm sorry... . I shouldn't even brought it up
Tony Soprano : Listen, after we eat, wanna take a ride?
