- Tony Soprano: [to the FBI agents sitting in a car in front of his house] Listen, I'll save you some gas. I'm just going down to the stationery store and I'll be right back. You don't gotta follow me like yesterday, all right?
- Tony Soprano: [to Gigi, referring to his user name on his laptop computer] Log off, that cookies shit makes me nervous.
- Tony Soprano: [during lunch, after noticing Patsy isn't eating] not hungry? Have some bragiole
- Patsy Parisi: no, thanks, I got no appetite: today would've "our" birthday
- Tony Soprano: [eventually realize who Patsy is referring to] "our" birthday? Oh, yeah..."Spoons"
- Gigi Cestone: [to Patsy] hey, happy birthday: how old are you?
- Patsy Parisi: fifty-one
- Christopher Moltisanti: who was born first? You or "Spoons?"
- Patsy Parisi: Philip was my kid brother... by eleven minutes
- Tony Soprano: hey, it was a fuckin tragedy. What're you gonna do?
- Gigi Cestone: it's the life we chose, am I right Pat?
- Patsy Parisi: my brother was never a "heavy" guy with anybody. I mean he was a sweet gentle man
- Furio Giunta: [before Patsy nods] your brother was your twin brother?
- Tony Soprano: Philly, "friends" like us, called him "Spoons." Somebody "whacked" the kid couple months before you came home
- Furio Giunta: so, your identical twins... or the other "kind?"
- Patsy Parisi: identical
- Tony Soprano: [before passing salad to him] have something to eat
- Patsy Parisi: there's a twin "bond", unless you "experienced it", you can't "understand it"
- Tony Soprano: [to Patsy] you're ok with onions, right?
- Patsy Parisi: it might sound fuckin crazy to you?
- Christopher Moltisanti: hey, nothing sounds "crazy" anymore the older I get
- Gigi Cestone: well, it's over, right?
- Christopher Moltisanti: don't it happen, that identical twins a lot of times, they'll die within a couple days of each other?
- Patsy Parisi: [before everybody chastises him for talking about not wanting to live] that would've been ok with me, believe me... I miss him so much
- Tony Soprano: [before everybody raises their drinks to toast his birthday] yeah, well that's natural but you're with us now so why don't you leave the morbid shit back to Junior's crew and have a happy birthday?
- Silvio Dante: the fuck you doin? Lunch is ready
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm gonna watch my hands
- Silvio Dante: you just watched your hands
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: and then I tied my shoes
- Silvio Dante: so what?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I can't stand touching fuckin shoelaces: you ever go and tie your shoes, and notice the end of your laces are wet? For what? Why would they be wet?
- Silvio Dante: I got no fuckin idea
- Hesh Rabkin: you ever go to public bathrooms? And stand at the urials...
- Hesh Rabkin: [interrupts him, irritated, not wanting to hear and talk about un-sanitized bathrooms while they eat] oh come on, will ya?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [to Hesh, referring to Silvio] his asking, I'm telling him and frankly, it's important. Even if the laces are dry and even if you don't touch the body of the shoe, bacteria and viruses migrate from the sole up
- Christopher Moltisanti: you see this on TV?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I gotta watch TV to figure out the world? Your average shithouse is a sewer. You look at lady's johns', you can eat maple walnut ice cream from the toilets: there's exceptions, but in men's? Piss all over the fuckin floor, urials jammed with cigarettes and mothball cakes, it does nothin to kill germs: even if you keep your shoes tied and you're not dragging your laces through urine...
- Silvio Dante: [interrupts him, annoyed] shut the fuck up
- Tony Soprano: What're you doing?
- Patsy Parisi: [while adding the total with a calculator] Receipts from Sunday's game
- Tony Soprano: You got a problem?
- Patsy Parisi: [caught off guard by his question] What Tone?
- Tony Soprano: I said you got a problem?
- Patsy Parisi: [confused] With what Tone?
- Tony Soprano: I don't know, I heard you got a fuckin problem? Like you don't like being here?
- Patsy Parisi: I like being here
- Tony Soprano: You sure?
- Patsy Parisi: Yeah
- Tony Soprano: You sure?
- Patsy Parisi: Yeah
- Tony Soprano: Don't say you're sure when you're not sure, you put your grief behind you? Let me hear you say it
- Patsy Parisi: [adamantly] I put the grief behind me
- Tony Soprano: How's the new stock doing?
- Gigi Cestone: Up three at the close of The Dow yesterday. Another two so far today
- Tony Soprano: Beautiful
- Gigi Cestone: Listen I think we may have a problem
- Tony Soprano: Log off, that cookies shit makes me nervous
- Gigi Cestone: I think we have a problem with our "friend" the twin
- Tony Soprano: Yeah so?
- Gigi Cestone: My Goomba Joey Flies, he hangs out at The Nest in Bloomfield. So our "friend's a fixture down there and Joey says lately his been into the booze "very heavy", his all fucked up. A couple times they had to help pick him off the floor. Patsy launches into this single malt diatribe about how people can still smile in your face and still be a villain. And that he knows how his brother died and whose responsible and all that there
- Tony Soprano: He mention me by name?
- Gigi Cestone: No, me neither
- Tony Soprano: [to Paulie] you hearing this?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How the fuck would know Patsy we clipped Spoons?
- Tony Soprano: What? That "twin telepathy"?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Somebody's putting ideas in this kid's head
- Tony Soprano: [Sarcastically to Silvio] don't let us interfere with your golf game
- Silvio Dante: Maybe a cop trying to flip him, maybe getting him worked up over theories
- Tony Soprano: He was talking weird the other day
- Gigi Cestone: What should we do?
- Tony Soprano: We brought him over from Junior's crew to keep an eye on him so that's we'll keep doing
- Gigi Cestone: I mean make no mistake this guy must love you but it's got to be hard coming into work every day looking right into the eyes of the guy who ordered your brother whacked and even with a smile
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Implying to kill him] we always have the option
- Lilliana Wosilius: [quizzing him on the questions for the citizenship test, while having a picnic] What is the most important right guaranteed to United States citizens?
- Stasiu Wosilius: Right to vote
- Stasiu Wosilius: [in Russian after taking them out of the picnic basket] What is this?
- Lilliana Wosilius: Special capers from Italy: Soprano kids don't like them. Who wrote the star-spangled Banner?
- Stasiu Wosilius: [uninterested] Martin Luther King
- Lilliana Wosilius: [chastising him] Stasiu...
- Stasiu Wosilius: I want to eat
- Lilliana Wosilius: [correcting his answer] Francis Scott Key
- Stasiu Wosilius: [in Russian] Fuck his whore of a mother
- Lilliana Wosilius: [after sighing] What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the American Colonies?
- Stasiu Wosilius: [intentionally responding with the incorrect answer] Martin Luther King
- Lilliana Wosilius: [irritated] Stasiu, that is the answer to number forty-nine, "Who was the Civil Rights leader?
- Stasiu Wosilius: What sandwiches did you bring?
- Lilliana Wosilius: I don't care
- Lilliana Wosilius: [in Russian] this hostility of yours, why do we even bother having our picnics together? Are you so bitter about driving a cab you have to ruin a beautiful day?
- Stasiu Wosilius: Back at home, I was an engineer with twenty employees and I run from the state to do atomist research... oh, and this bores you?
- Lilliana Wosilius: Don't take those steak knives out, put them with the capers, I'll take them home
- Stasiu Wosilius: [in Russian] They belong to Mrs. Soprano
- Lilliana Wosilius: [in Russian] They have so much stuff. Tomorrow I'm taking some champagne glasses